Do you remember Romper Room? It was a children’s television show when I was a kid. I watched it often and what I remember most about it was the sweet-voiced hostess who closed (and/or opened, I can’t exactly recall) the show by looking through a small open “mirror” to “see” the children who were watching. “I see Joey and Amber and Mikey. Oh look! There’s Tracy and Robert and Millie,” she’d exclaim.
And we believed her, her young viewers. We believed that she did see us watching. Except that she never saw me. Not once did she call out that she saw Lara. I listened carefully every time to hear my name, sure that this would be the time that she finally saw past all the other children and managed to see me. But it never happened. I was un-seeable, unnoticeable. I’m sure it scarred me for life. In fact, I blame all my insecurities on the Romper Room lady’s broken mirror thing.
I don’t know what ever became of that program – how many years it ran or how successful it was. But it did have one marketing success: Romper Stompers. These were a pair of plastic yellow “cups” with long flexible green tubes attached so that you could hold on and walk around on them. They were the commercialized version of tin cans with strings that my mom’s generation would have played with.
Romper Stompers were cool. They lifted you up a few inchers taller and made a clomping sound when you walked around on the linoleum floor or the sidewalk. But they never worked well on carpet. I know. I have a pair.
My children and their friends had a blast clomping down the road of our campground this weekend on those same Romper Stompers. They’re even cooler toys now because nobody else has them. They wouldn’t pass current safety tests (too much chance for slipping and falling or choking on the tube ties). But they still make you taller and allow you to make loud stomping noises.
And you know what? I’m sure if the Romper Room lady were still around, she’d find a way to see Little Miss History, Timid Daughter and the Uber-Princess. I’d make sure of it.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
On Behalf of Overly Pregnant Women
Warning: I am about to rant here. I try not to do that often in this forum, but there are cases where I feel it's warranted. This is one.
If you are pregnant and have not yet reached full term (and not the fakey, "you could go any day" full term, we're talking 39 or 40 weeks pregnant), unless you are of advanced maternal age or have a high-risk pregnancy or are expecting multiples - do not act like it is owed to you to have your baby as soon as possible. And do not complain about how hard it is and how big you feel. We all feel that way during the last few weeks.
But no one feels that way more than the woman who is 41 weeks pregnant. How dare you claim that you have a right to what she hasn't gotten. She deserves the sympathy for how long she has to wait. Not you!
And to the woman who demands that her doctor induce her ASAP even though she's not even at 39 weeks (I've sat next to her in the OB office before) I say, "shame on you! Get a spine - if you're about to become a mother for the first time, you're gonna need it."
Honestly, I am only this angry because of the affront to women who really have to tough it out and who do so with dignity and in silence. I have been that woman - three times (okay, maybe not the dignity part, and I'm not so sure about the silence, but still). My first child was born a full week past the due date and weighed in at 8 pounds 12 oz (mind you, I am a smaller person - 5'5" and 115 lbs. before that pregnancy). Only once I hit my due date did I start talking about getting induced. And even during pregnancies 2 & 3 I waited to be induced until my due date had passed by at least several days, if not a week. I never took it as my right to have that baby sooner.
As for people asking about your pregnancy - they're concerned. They see how tough it is on you and want to be an encouragement. Or else they're just excited for you. So get over yourself! Until your due date passes and people start asking, "You're still here?" as they gaze at your exploding belly, you are insulting every woman who has ever endured what you're going through with your expectations to be treated any different.
'Nuf said.
Inbox ballooning to 73 messages
If you are pregnant and have not yet reached full term (and not the fakey, "you could go any day" full term, we're talking 39 or 40 weeks pregnant), unless you are of advanced maternal age or have a high-risk pregnancy or are expecting multiples - do not act like it is owed to you to have your baby as soon as possible. And do not complain about how hard it is and how big you feel. We all feel that way during the last few weeks.
But no one feels that way more than the woman who is 41 weeks pregnant. How dare you claim that you have a right to what she hasn't gotten. She deserves the sympathy for how long she has to wait. Not you!
And to the woman who demands that her doctor induce her ASAP even though she's not even at 39 weeks (I've sat next to her in the OB office before) I say, "shame on you! Get a spine - if you're about to become a mother for the first time, you're gonna need it."
Honestly, I am only this angry because of the affront to women who really have to tough it out and who do so with dignity and in silence. I have been that woman - three times (okay, maybe not the dignity part, and I'm not so sure about the silence, but still). My first child was born a full week past the due date and weighed in at 8 pounds 12 oz (mind you, I am a smaller person - 5'5" and 115 lbs. before that pregnancy). Only once I hit my due date did I start talking about getting induced. And even during pregnancies 2 & 3 I waited to be induced until my due date had passed by at least several days, if not a week. I never took it as my right to have that baby sooner.
As for people asking about your pregnancy - they're concerned. They see how tough it is on you and want to be an encouragement. Or else they're just excited for you. So get over yourself! Until your due date passes and people start asking, "You're still here?" as they gaze at your exploding belly, you are insulting every woman who has ever endured what you're going through with your expectations to be treated any different.
'Nuf said.
Inbox ballooning to 73 messages
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Butterflies and Growing Girls
I'm beat! I sit here in my big chair with my feet up, longing for a neck message and maybe a hot cup of tea to go with it. I've worked hard today on one of my favorite kind of projects: a transformation. We are painting the bedroom that two of our girls share (on a rotating basis - the Uber-Princess is on her way out and Timid Daughter is joining Little Miss History). The older two had decided it was time to do away with the sweet pink walls dotted with purple butterflies and fushia flowers. They are ready for a "bigger girl room". They're ready. Me? Not so much.
Amusing Dad & I painted the first coat this afternoon. It'sa deep teal color "Tropical Tide". The girls decided on that for the base color and we'll add "Victorian Purple" dots later. Each stroke of the brush brought us further from little girl room and more committed to "big girldom". Each butterfly I covered in teal sent tingles down my spine. When I reached the final few feet of pink, Timid Daughter & the Uber-Princess helped roll a bit and then stood back and watched me finish.
"There goes the last butterfly," remarked Timid Daughter.
The last one indeed. Like butterflies that flit in ever-widening circles away from my garden are my daughters. This summer we've given little bits of freedom to LMH, like riding her bike to the pool with a friend (and without us). I sigh as she goes, say a brief prayer and return to my housework. Timid Daughter wants to follow as soon as she can.
The transformation from little girl pink to big girlteal" Tropical Tide" just confirms what is already at work. They are growing quickly.
Which makes me anxious to move on to decorating the room the Uber-Princess will occupy next. She's asking for - get this - princesses on her walls. Who'da thunk?!
And so we'll still have one "little girl" room. For now.
Amusing Dad & I painted the first coat this afternoon. It's
"There goes the last butterfly," remarked Timid Daughter.
The last one indeed. Like butterflies that flit in ever-widening circles away from my garden are my daughters. This summer we've given little bits of freedom to LMH, like riding her bike to the pool with a friend (and without us). I sigh as she goes, say a brief prayer and return to my housework. Timid Daughter wants to follow as soon as she can.
The transformation from little girl pink to big girl
Which makes me anxious to move on to decorating the room the Uber-Princess will occupy next. She's asking for - get this - princesses on her walls. Who'da thunk?!
And so we'll still have one "little girl" room. For now.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Works for Me: Summer Chore Jar
Right now as I type, my children are happily setting about getting their morning chores done. Did you get that? They're happily doing their chores. In fact, breakfast is rarely over before they start asking about the special chore for the day.
How do I do it? A "chore jar". Each week I make a bunch of slips of paper containing the chores that I want my children to get done for the week. I usually use flylady's zone for the week as a starting place and often follow her suggested zone chores (if you haven't checked flylady out, she has a great method for simplifying the job of housekeeping). I put in enough chores for each child to do one a day, minus one day off (so with 3 children times 4 days, I usually come up with 12 tasks). Every week I also put in a slip that says "bye" - meaning no chores for the day. If one child draws that slip, all the rest of the slips go back (except for the "bye") and we take the morning off.
So here's how it works: each child draws a chore. I keep them simple like "wipe the baseboards and door frame", "dust the fan blades", "clean the bathroom sink". And with using one zone/room for the week, a lot of those putzy spring-cleaning type chores get done. They're allowed to trade if they want (rarely) and they get one "do-over" for the week if they really, really don't like the task they drew.
And that's all it takes to get some happy workers. I think it's a combination of the element of surprise and the simple tasks that make it work. They know once they've done their regular morning routine (get dressed, make bed, collect laundry, etc.) and completed the chore for the day that they are pretty much free from work. And me? I make myself available to assist on the daily chores, but usually I also manage to get in one or two cleaning tasks too before calling it a day on house cleaning.
It works for me and it might work for you too. For more Works for Me Wednesday tips check out the list over here.
How do I do it? A "chore jar". Each week I make a bunch of slips of paper containing the chores that I want my children to get done for the week. I usually use flylady's zone for the week as a starting place and often follow her suggested zone chores (if you haven't checked flylady out, she has a great method for simplifying the job of housekeeping). I put in enough chores for each child to do one a day, minus one day off (so with 3 children times 4 days, I usually come up with 12 tasks). Every week I also put in a slip that says "bye" - meaning no chores for the day. If one child draws that slip, all the rest of the slips go back (except for the "bye") and we take the morning off.
So here's how it works: each child draws a chore. I keep them simple like "wipe the baseboards and door frame", "dust the fan blades", "clean the bathroom sink". And with using one zone/room for the week, a lot of those putzy spring-cleaning type chores get done. They're allowed to trade if they want (rarely) and they get one "do-over" for the week if they really, really don't like the task they drew.
And that's all it takes to get some happy workers. I think it's a combination of the element of surprise and the simple tasks that make it work. They know once they've done their regular morning routine (get dressed, make bed, collect laundry, etc.) and completed the chore for the day that they are pretty much free from work. And me? I make myself available to assist on the daily chores, but usually I also manage to get in one or two cleaning tasks too before calling it a day on house cleaning.
It works for me and it might work for you too. For more Works for Me Wednesday tips check out the list over here.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Making Iced Tea & Making Do
My iced tea machine broke today. My new one, that I got for Christmas last year. It's July. I live in Chicagoland. And I need my iced tea.
The thing is, I'm pretty sure I sometimes made iced tea before I got the fancy machine. Sometimes. But I can't remember how I did it. It certainly couldn't have been as simple or as fast.
I started thinking, 'I sure was looking forward to that iced tea this afternoon. And there are people coming over tonight and those people deserve iced tea, if they so want some. But my machine just up and broke.'
Then I thought something else: I thought of the robin I saw this morning. He startled me as I stepped around the corner of our house to collect a bag of yard waste to put by the street. I was picking up the bag when I heard a splashing sound behind me. There, in a small amount of water that had pooled in the depressed lid of an old plastic trash can, was this male robin, rolling his roly-poly belly all around in that water.
I watched him for a few moments. He had no modesty, this little bird. He cared not at all that some lady was watching him. Nor did he care that he wasn't washing in a proper bird bath. He was making do with my rain-filled trash can lid.
Like that robin, I'm making do. I unplugged the broken machine, started the flame under my tea kettle and set some water to boiling. Once it was hot, I poured it over the tea bags in my fancy brewing pitcher. And I made iced tea. It didn't come as simple or fast, but it's made. And with a whole bunch of sugar added, it will be some good sweet tea for me and my company.
Inbox is at 35 - I'm going backwards!
The thing is, I'm pretty sure I sometimes made iced tea before I got the fancy machine. Sometimes. But I can't remember how I did it. It certainly couldn't have been as simple or as fast.
I started thinking, 'I sure was looking forward to that iced tea this afternoon. And there are people coming over tonight and those people deserve iced tea, if they so want some. But my machine just up and broke.'
Then I thought something else: I thought of the robin I saw this morning. He startled me as I stepped around the corner of our house to collect a bag of yard waste to put by the street. I was picking up the bag when I heard a splashing sound behind me. There, in a small amount of water that had pooled in the depressed lid of an old plastic trash can, was this male robin, rolling his roly-poly belly all around in that water.
I watched him for a few moments. He had no modesty, this little bird. He cared not at all that some lady was watching him. Nor did he care that he wasn't washing in a proper bird bath. He was making do with my rain-filled trash can lid.
Like that robin, I'm making do. I unplugged the broken machine, started the flame under my tea kettle and set some water to boiling. Once it was hot, I poured it over the tea bags in my fancy brewing pitcher. And I made iced tea. It didn't come as simple or fast, but it's made. And with a whole bunch of sugar added, it will be some good sweet tea for me and my company.
Inbox is at 35 - I'm going backwards!
Monday, July 06, 2009
Solitude
I'm on my own for the next three days. The kids are off for some fun with their second cousins out at Grandma & Grandpa's Lake House. Amusing Dad is mostly at work. So it's just me. Solo. Alone.
This fact was not lost on the Uber-Princess. As we were driving to their grandparents' local residence to drop them off for their trip, she suggested a puppy.
"You know, Mom," she explained. "Once I go to first grade you're going to be alone every day. You might get lonely. You need a puppy to keep you company."
No matter that first grade for her is still a year away. She was thinking ahead. And she was thinking of how I'll feel with her gone all day. It worried her. Need I say that this speaks volumes about the Uber-Princess herself? She is a social butterfly. The concept of being alone all day would be torturous to her. And of course, she wouldn't wish that on anyone.
I'm not getting a puppy any time soon. Being alone does not bother me. In fact, I sometimes rather like it. Like today. I did wake up early enough to see Amusing Dad and wish him a good day. But since then I haven't seen or spoken to another soul. And it's been grand!
There is more room for my thoughts in this empty house of mine. And space to relax. I've done some straightening in different rooms with the glad thought that they'll still be that way tonight...and tomorrow... and even for a while the next day. And I'm disciplining myself to hack away on some writing and speaking projects that would otherwise progress in only fits and starts with the children around.
Here's another odd thing, I'm listening a little more to my own voice. Not my spoken voice - I haven't heard it since I talked to Amusing Dad this morning (and I couldn't hear it when I was singing while out on an early morning bike ride because my headphones blocked it out). I'm listening to my internal voice, the voice of my thoughts. In writing, the big hairy objective that most new writers fail to achieve is finding their "voice", that is, getting the voice in their brain down onto paper. I'm wondering if I've found it. But it means getting time and space to listen. So that's what I'm doing today.
And my inbox is down to 20!
This fact was not lost on the Uber-Princess. As we were driving to their grandparents' local residence to drop them off for their trip, she suggested a puppy.
"You know, Mom," she explained. "Once I go to first grade you're going to be alone every day. You might get lonely. You need a puppy to keep you company."
No matter that first grade for her is still a year away. She was thinking ahead. And she was thinking of how I'll feel with her gone all day. It worried her. Need I say that this speaks volumes about the Uber-Princess herself? She is a social butterfly. The concept of being alone all day would be torturous to her. And of course, she wouldn't wish that on anyone.
I'm not getting a puppy any time soon. Being alone does not bother me. In fact, I sometimes rather like it. Like today. I did wake up early enough to see Amusing Dad and wish him a good day. But since then I haven't seen or spoken to another soul. And it's been grand!
There is more room for my thoughts in this empty house of mine. And space to relax. I've done some straightening in different rooms with the glad thought that they'll still be that way tonight...and tomorrow... and even for a while the next day. And I'm disciplining myself to hack away on some writing and speaking projects that would otherwise progress in only fits and starts with the children around.
Here's another odd thing, I'm listening a little more to my own voice. Not my spoken voice - I haven't heard it since I talked to Amusing Dad this morning (and I couldn't hear it when I was singing while out on an early morning bike ride because my headphones blocked it out). I'm listening to my internal voice, the voice of my thoughts. In writing, the big hairy objective that most new writers fail to achieve is finding their "voice", that is, getting the voice in their brain down onto paper. I'm wondering if I've found it. But it means getting time and space to listen. So that's what I'm doing today.
And my inbox is down to 20!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Aiming for the Illusive "Zero Messages"
A month or two ago I read a post by Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson, Inc. about keeping on top of email. It had me inspired and motivated to weed through the mess that had become my inbox and empty it out. Previously I had been satisfied to get it down to 50 messages. But Hyatt talks about clearing it out. Making it completely empty. As in zero messages.
I can't remember ever seeing my inbox say "0 messages". Not even the day I set it up (because, after all, you have to have someone send a test message and then you've got mail). However, once I read what Michael Hyatt does on a regular basis, suddenly zero messages had become the Holy Grail of email communication for me. I wanted to get my inbox empty. I needed to get that inbox empty.
Two months later and I'm still hovering around 50 messages. Sometimes (weekends) it zooms up to a hundred or more. Then gradually during the work week I attempt to whittle it down. One week I even had it down to 18 messages. Almost there, but not quite.
So I am going public with my quest. Shame me. Hound me. Do your part to urge me on to that illusive goal. I want to reach zero messages. The perennial procrastinator in me makes this a challenge, but I'm ready to purge the procrastination. I want to storm the inbox and obliterate the messages there. Only 38 messages to go. Can I do it?
Oh dear, do you realize what you've just done, Amusing Mom? You've just invited all these people to blast your inbox in an effort to thwart your quest. Or worse yet, you've caused all the lovely people you enjoy hearing from to shy away from sending you email. What to do? How to reassure them that you'll promptly delete all "spam"/fake emails and happily (& promptly) reply to any real email? Oh well, what's done is done - trust that your readers are ALL lovely people who will gladly continue to send you electronic missives. Now pick up that laptop and get off on your quest!
I can't remember ever seeing my inbox say "0 messages". Not even the day I set it up (because, after all, you have to have someone send a test message and then you've got mail). However, once I read what Michael Hyatt does on a regular basis, suddenly zero messages had become the Holy Grail of email communication for me. I wanted to get my inbox empty. I needed to get that inbox empty.
Two months later and I'm still hovering around 50 messages. Sometimes (weekends) it zooms up to a hundred or more. Then gradually during the work week I attempt to whittle it down. One week I even had it down to 18 messages. Almost there, but not quite.
So I am going public with my quest. Shame me. Hound me. Do your part to urge me on to that illusive goal. I want to reach zero messages. The perennial procrastinator in me makes this a challenge, but I'm ready to purge the procrastination. I want to storm the inbox and obliterate the messages there. Only 38 messages to go. Can I do it?
Oh dear, do you realize what you've just done, Amusing Mom? You've just invited all these people to blast your inbox in an effort to thwart your quest. Or worse yet, you've caused all the lovely people you enjoy hearing from to shy away from sending you email. What to do? How to reassure them that you'll promptly delete all "spam"/fake emails and happily (& promptly) reply to any real email? Oh well, what's done is done - trust that your readers are ALL lovely people who will gladly continue to send you electronic missives. Now pick up that laptop and get off on your quest!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Alone & a Rest
The house is quiet today. It's empty. Amusing Dad is off at work. The children hopped into their grandparents' RV at the campground this weekend and should return sometime this afternoon. I'm alone.
Funny thing is, without a husband and children around today I find that I'm...still a wife and a mom. I woke up to a house empty of people, but filled with needs. The need for food prompted a trip to the grocery store. The need for clean clothes set me to working on laundry. I made a drive to Amusing Dad's work to take him some things he had forgotten. I fed the girls' fish. There were piles to put away and bills to pay. And so it has gone.
I made only one deviation from my to-do list today. I took a nap. I was thoroughly enjoying my day alone, listening to a lecture on CD from a conference I recently attended. Without the demands of three young girls to distract me, I could let my mind focus on the thoughts that came up. So by mid-afternoon, I was finding myself a bit overwhelmed by all those thoughts. There is never a day where I can entertain more than one deep train of thought and here I'd been riding three or four for some hours now. It drained me.
There is one more thing absent from my house today: busyness. For months now I've run from one activity to the next, prepared for one commitment after the other, worked on one project after another. Last Thursday the final project was complete. My plate is now empty, save for the needs of one husband and three daughters. My to-do list has shrunk to a doable size. My calendar has space for relaxation.
It is no wonder that I needed a rest.
Funny thing is, without a husband and children around today I find that I'm...still a wife and a mom. I woke up to a house empty of people, but filled with needs. The need for food prompted a trip to the grocery store. The need for clean clothes set me to working on laundry. I made a drive to Amusing Dad's work to take him some things he had forgotten. I fed the girls' fish. There were piles to put away and bills to pay. And so it has gone.
I made only one deviation from my to-do list today. I took a nap. I was thoroughly enjoying my day alone, listening to a lecture on CD from a conference I recently attended. Without the demands of three young girls to distract me, I could let my mind focus on the thoughts that came up. So by mid-afternoon, I was finding myself a bit overwhelmed by all those thoughts. There is never a day where I can entertain more than one deep train of thought and here I'd been riding three or four for some hours now. It drained me.
There is one more thing absent from my house today: busyness. For months now I've run from one activity to the next, prepared for one commitment after the other, worked on one project after another. Last Thursday the final project was complete. My plate is now empty, save for the needs of one husband and three daughters. My to-do list has shrunk to a doable size. My calendar has space for relaxation.
It is no wonder that I needed a rest.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wilton Tent Sale
starts tomorrow!!! After taking a year off (which, frankly, was a good thing for my pocketbook since we never manage to emerge from there spending under $50), the big white tents are pitched again.
If you need any cake decorating supplies (including this really cool spray-on food coloring that is great for backgrounds on cakes when you're doing something like water or grass), it's the place to go. I don't think I ever see any real sales on Wilton in the stores, so the discounts at their tent sale are unbeatable. Of course, it helps if you live in the Chicago metropolitan area. Wilton is located in Woodridge on 75th at I-355.
We'll have our tribe traipsing through there in the next couple of days. I'm not sure that we actually need anything, but it's such an incredible kitchen smorgasbord that it's hard to stay away. A Musing Dad is just as big a fan of the tent sale as I am (maybe even more).
Now that I think about it, I just might pick up one of those cool cupcake trees. Or maybe a portable container for cupcakes. And then if I get one, I'll have to whip up a batch of Magnolia's goodies...
Note on Tent Sale dates & hours: Runs May 29 to June 16. Hours are 4:30pm-8pm on the 29th, then Saturdays and Sundays 8am - 6pm and Mondays through Fridays 9am - 8pm.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Breaking Expectations
Rebel or conformist? Which are you?
I'm a conformist, through and through. Rules are meant to be followed. It drives me nuts to see people not following the rules. To me they seem rude and self-centered. I've always taken it that people who go against the grain are just being selfish.
Now I'm beginning to wonder if they're just self-aware. Going along with the program often comes at a cost. As a conformist I would simply go with it and then fume and gripe it when the cost was more than I had wanted to pay.
Well, I'm learning to rebel. Not for rebellion's sake. For my sake. I'm learning to pay attention to the price of rules and expectations and decide whether I can pay it. And if I can't pay, I won't play.
Here's an example from the last couple of weeks that really opened my eyes to this:
a good friend has been good through some difficult times. As to be expected, another friend coordinated meals for her family. I was asked if I could make a meal.
Normally, my heart would sink at the thought of having to cook for another family. Cooking is a necessary evil to me. I do it for my family and I do it reasonably well, but without any real joy. And so when situations arise (births, deaths, sickness) I pitch in by making a meal but dread every minute of it and find myself drained in the process. Cooking is not my love language, my chosen area of service, a hobby, or anything aside from a way to keep my family alive.
So here it is, a request for a meal. My heart sinks. Not only that, but I am already burnt out by the own demands in my life. From where I stand, I'm wishing someone would make me a meal. And so I avoid responding, but I think to myself, "I just can't do it".
Some days pass and I walk around in a cloud of guilt for not wanting to help a good friend this way. Finally, I simply decide that I need to take the step of not doing something simply because it's expected. And so I respond that I cannot make a meal. I am not in a place where I am able to do it. Period.
Suddenly the guilt vanishes. I've rebelled and placed myself and my needs first. But I'm not selfish. I'm still a caring person. Without the weight of expectations I find the freedom to be creative. I write a card to my friend in crisis. I drop by her house with a small gift. I show compassion through actions that fit me better than making a meal. I think she is blessed. And I'm not so burnt out.
This conformist is seeing that rebellion can be good. I'm thinking of making it a rule to rebel at least once a day. Of course that rule might be hardest to break of all.
I'm a conformist, through and through. Rules are meant to be followed. It drives me nuts to see people not following the rules. To me they seem rude and self-centered. I've always taken it that people who go against the grain are just being selfish.
Now I'm beginning to wonder if they're just self-aware. Going along with the program often comes at a cost. As a conformist I would simply go with it and then fume and gripe it when the cost was more than I had wanted to pay.
Well, I'm learning to rebel. Not for rebellion's sake. For my sake. I'm learning to pay attention to the price of rules and expectations and decide whether I can pay it. And if I can't pay, I won't play.
Here's an example from the last couple of weeks that really opened my eyes to this:
a good friend has been good through some difficult times. As to be expected, another friend coordinated meals for her family. I was asked if I could make a meal.
Normally, my heart would sink at the thought of having to cook for another family. Cooking is a necessary evil to me. I do it for my family and I do it reasonably well, but without any real joy. And so when situations arise (births, deaths, sickness) I pitch in by making a meal but dread every minute of it and find myself drained in the process. Cooking is not my love language, my chosen area of service, a hobby, or anything aside from a way to keep my family alive.
So here it is, a request for a meal. My heart sinks. Not only that, but I am already burnt out by the own demands in my life. From where I stand, I'm wishing someone would make me a meal. And so I avoid responding, but I think to myself, "I just can't do it".
Some days pass and I walk around in a cloud of guilt for not wanting to help a good friend this way. Finally, I simply decide that I need to take the step of not doing something simply because it's expected. And so I respond that I cannot make a meal. I am not in a place where I am able to do it. Period.
Suddenly the guilt vanishes. I've rebelled and placed myself and my needs first. But I'm not selfish. I'm still a caring person. Without the weight of expectations I find the freedom to be creative. I write a card to my friend in crisis. I drop by her house with a small gift. I show compassion through actions that fit me better than making a meal. I think she is blessed. And I'm not so burnt out.
This conformist is seeing that rebellion can be good. I'm thinking of making it a rule to rebel at least once a day. Of course that rule might be hardest to break of all.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Super Savings Saturday: Cheap Baby Wipes
If you have a little one in diapers, chances are you go through a TON of baby wipes. And that can be pretty expensive after a while (as if all those diapers weren't enough). Well, I found a recipe for homemade wipes shortly after my first child was born and I used it through all three of my girls' days in diapers. These things were cheap, easy to make and worked just fine, thank you!
Wanna know the secret recipe*? Here it is:
1 roll of regular size sheet Bounty paper towels (do not skimp & buy cheepie paper towels - they will. not. work.)
1 cup of water
1 Tbs. baby shampoo (any brand)
1 Tbs. baby oil (any brand)
Cut the paper towel roll in half. I usually used a hack saw, but a bread knife works too. Then remove the cardboard core. Place the half roll in a RubberMaid servin' saver 3 qt., size G container or similar size container with lid. Mix together the water, shampoo & baby oil. Pour over paper towel roll, saturating the towels evenly.
To use, pull paper towels from up from center of roll.
I used these almost exclusively for all three girls. The only reason I bought regular baby wipes was to put in the travel wipes container in the diaper bag for when we were out and about.
*Sorry for no attribution of my original source. It's been so long now that I completely forget where I got it from.
Wanna know the secret recipe*? Here it is:
1 roll of regular size sheet Bounty paper towels (do not skimp & buy cheepie paper towels - they will. not. work.)
1 cup of water
1 Tbs. baby shampoo (any brand)
1 Tbs. baby oil (any brand)
Cut the paper towel roll in half. I usually used a hack saw, but a bread knife works too. Then remove the cardboard core. Place the half roll in a RubberMaid servin' saver 3 qt., size G container or similar size container with lid. Mix together the water, shampoo & baby oil. Pour over paper towel roll, saturating the towels evenly.
To use, pull paper towels from up from center of roll.
I used these almost exclusively for all three girls. The only reason I bought regular baby wipes was to put in the travel wipes container in the diaper bag for when we were out and about.
*Sorry for no attribution of my original source. It's been so long now that I completely forget where I got it from.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Party At the Dentist's Office
Can I tell you something? I like the dentist's office. Oh, not my dentist's office. Not at all! No, I'm talking about my kid's dentist. Ever since they started going there it's been an appointment I look forward to. Do you know why? It is an hour of uninterrupted Mom Time.
It's not such a big deal to me now. With my three kids in school at least part of the time, I get Mom Time often enough. But back when they were smaller, I felt like the only time I ever got a break from mommy duty was when the little darlings were asleep, and frankly by then I was too tired to notice. But then they got old enough for the dentist -- all three of them. And what a day that was! I actually counted down the months until that appointment arrived. Yes, during their younger years Mommy time was often so sorely lacking that any trip to the pediatric dentist truly made me want to celebrate. Really and truly.
If that concept rubs you wrong and you want to call me a bad mom, go ahead. I actually hear those kind of comments (indirectly) often enough. I'm also the mom who sends her kids to public school and cheers when Summer (or Winter or Spring) break is over. I love my girls. A lot. And I enjoy being with them. But I also really, really need time to myself. And I guess if that is what it takes to make a bad mom, then I am one.
For the record: as bad a mom as I am, I still make them brush every morning and every night. It's way cheaper to pay a babysitter than the dentist.
It's not such a big deal to me now. With my three kids in school at least part of the time, I get Mom Time often enough. But back when they were smaller, I felt like the only time I ever got a break from mommy duty was when the little darlings were asleep, and frankly by then I was too tired to notice. But then they got old enough for the dentist -- all three of them. And what a day that was! I actually counted down the months until that appointment arrived. Yes, during their younger years Mommy time was often so sorely lacking that any trip to the pediatric dentist truly made me want to celebrate. Really and truly.
If that concept rubs you wrong and you want to call me a bad mom, go ahead. I actually hear those kind of comments (indirectly) often enough. I'm also the mom who sends her kids to public school and cheers when Summer (or Winter or Spring) break is over. I love my girls. A lot. And I enjoy being with them. But I also really, really need time to myself. And I guess if that is what it takes to make a bad mom, then I am one.
For the record: as bad a mom as I am, I still make them brush every morning and every night. It's way cheaper to pay a babysitter than the dentist.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
It's, Um...Me!
I was tagged today by everydaymom, who apparently has not picked up on the unwritten code of amusingmom to keep her identity a tip-top internet secret. But since I'm in need of some creative prompts for blog posts, I decided to take her up on the game.
Here are the rules for "Keeping it Real": Take a picture of yourself right now.
No primping or preparing.
Just snap a picture.
Load the picture onto your blog.
Tag some people to play.
That's it, easy as PIE
So here I am, as I was upon reading that tag. Sitting in Panera, just minding my own little business. No primping or preparing. No regular camera either. Thank goodness for Photo Booth (which, incidentally, I have used to take regular photographs when my husband was out with the regular camera. It does do a pretty decent job and lets you choose special effects before shooting your photo (like the one I used here).
Now who to tag?
Llama Momma
WilyHacker
Beast Mom
Michelle Gregory
Here are the rules for "Keeping it Real": Take a picture of yourself right now.
No primping or preparing.
Just snap a picture.
Load the picture onto your blog.
Tag some people to play.
That's it, easy as PIE
So here I am, as I was upon reading that tag. Sitting in Panera, just minding my own little business. No primping or preparing. No regular camera either. Thank goodness for Photo Booth (which, incidentally, I have used to take regular photographs when my husband was out with the regular camera. It does do a pretty decent job and lets you choose special effects before shooting your photo (like the one I used here). Now who to tag?
Llama Momma
WilyHacker
Beast Mom
Michelle Gregory
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Super Savings Sunday Tip
Do you like breakfast cereal? What about Post breakfast cereals? Do you live near a Jewel (or another grocery store in the Albertson's chain, possibly)? Here's a good deal that's going on from now through Wednesday, April 1st:
Select varieties of Post cereal are on sale 2 for $3, but you must buy two to get the deal (or else they're $2.50). And you must use your preferred card. $1.50 a box sounds pretty good, doesn't it? But wait...there's more.
Currently there is a promotion going on where if you buy Post cereal, you can get a coupon for money off your next transaction:
Buy 3, get $2 off your next order
Buy 4, get $3 off
Buy 5 or more, get $5 off.
So...if you buy 6 (at 2/$3) it will cost you $9, but at the end of your transaction it will print you a coupon for $5 off. Which is like paying $4 for 6 boxes.
Sounds pretty good, huh? But wait... you can make it even better if you get the Sunday paper. This week's Smart Source coupon insert has a coupon for $1.00 off 2 boxes of select Post cereals (Shredded Wheat, Raisin Bran, or Grape Nuts Nuggets or Flakes - 10 oz. or larger)
If you get more than one paper, like I do (Chicago Tribune and the Naperville Sun), or if a friend or relative who doesn't use theirs will give them to you (thanks, Mom!), you can use three of those coupons on your six boxes. Your total cost for those 6 boxes would come to $1 (plus tax). Even one or two coupons makes it a super deal.
(Btw - if you don't like one of the 2/$3 varieties, you can substitute in another Post cereal - like Honeycombs and you'll still get the coupon at the end. I did that today and ended up paying $2 for my six boxes with two of them being the really big boxes of Honeycombs).
Six boxes may sound like a lot. But at that price, I'd say stock up! Make space in your pantry and fatten up your wallet at the same time.
Note: I've confirmed that this same deal is going on at the Albertson's stores too!
Select varieties of Post cereal are on sale 2 for $3, but you must buy two to get the deal (or else they're $2.50). And you must use your preferred card. $1.50 a box sounds pretty good, doesn't it? But wait...there's more.
Currently there is a promotion going on where if you buy Post cereal, you can get a coupon for money off your next transaction:
Buy 3, get $2 off your next order
Buy 4, get $3 off
Buy 5 or more, get $5 off.
So...if you buy 6 (at 2/$3) it will cost you $9, but at the end of your transaction it will print you a coupon for $5 off. Which is like paying $4 for 6 boxes.
Sounds pretty good, huh? But wait... you can make it even better if you get the Sunday paper. This week's Smart Source coupon insert has a coupon for $1.00 off 2 boxes of select Post cereals (Shredded Wheat, Raisin Bran, or Grape Nuts Nuggets or Flakes - 10 oz. or larger)
If you get more than one paper, like I do (Chicago Tribune and the Naperville Sun), or if a friend or relative who doesn't use theirs will give them to you (thanks, Mom!), you can use three of those coupons on your six boxes. Your total cost for those 6 boxes would come to $1 (plus tax). Even one or two coupons makes it a super deal.
(Btw - if you don't like one of the 2/$3 varieties, you can substitute in another Post cereal - like Honeycombs and you'll still get the coupon at the end. I did that today and ended up paying $2 for my six boxes with two of them being the really big boxes of Honeycombs).
Six boxes may sound like a lot. But at that price, I'd say stock up! Make space in your pantry and fatten up your wallet at the same time.
Note: I've confirmed that this same deal is going on at the Albertson's stores too!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A Little Crafting Fun
I haven't posted any pampering ideas for a while, but had so much fun putting together a sample craft for my daughter's birthday party that I had to share. Isn't it cute?
It's a 5 7/8" x 5 1/2" canvas bag that we found in groups of 5 for $6 at Jo-Ann Fabrics (get them for less with a coupon). I stamped it with the musical notes image and glued on the ribbon. All told, it took less than 10 minutes to complete. I'm thinking I could fill it with matching notecards or maybe small lotions and soaps as a gift.
The kids each decorated their own with stamped pictures, ribbons and drawings they made with fabric markers. It was the perfect craft for a group of 8-year-olds. They had a blast doing it and then had a place to stash their goodies from the party (although we did have to wait for the markers to dry a little first so not everyone's goodies actually got in their canvas bag).
Because they are so quick & inexpensive, I'm thinking they would make cute party favors or special event gifts (like a women's ministry luncheon). Just switch up the colors on the ribbon and the kind of stamp to match your theme.
Any other ideas for how to fill this fun bag?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig oraibh! (Blessings of St. Patrick's Day Upon You!)
Every year at this time, I find myself proud to be able to trace some of my ancestry to Ireland. And it's nice to see that I'm not the only one. Even our president has some Irish in him. If you don't believe me, watch the video - he explains it himself. Actually, watch the video anyway. YouTube wouldn't allow me to post it here. Trust me, your St. Patrick's Day isn't complete until you've seen this.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Announcing: Frugal Friday or Something Like That
I came up with a new idea for blog content (which the few faithful followers I have know has been lacking as of late): Frugal Friday. These would be posts sharing a money saving idea or tip or deal alert. The only thing is, I don't expect to post them only on Friday, nor will I post something every Friday. In fact, this first frugal post isn't coming to you on a Friday. So maybe it will be a Savings Sunday or Money Matters Monday post. But I hope you get the gist. I just want to pass along things I've learned or heard that make it easier for all of us trying to weather this financial ickiness (recession, crisis, whatever you want to call it).
Here's today's tip. It's a deal alert and if you have a kid in diapers and live near a Walgreen's, you'll want to listen up (this is from Jill Cataldo's web site):
Spend $25 or more on Huggies diapers or wipes and get a $10 coupon for your next shopping trip (called a Register Reward at Walgreens). This week diapers are on sale for $10 a pack.
Print out coupons from the following sites: Coupons.com and Red Plum for $5 and $3 (I think they'll allow you to print two of each and they may only have them available for so long, so check it out soon). You can also find ones for Huggies in the 2/8 Smart Source insert or 3/1 Smart Source for $1.50 - not as good a deal, but still...
Here's today's tip. It's a deal alert and if you have a kid in diapers and live near a Walgreen's, you'll want to listen up (this is from Jill Cataldo's web site):
Spend $25 or more on Huggies diapers or wipes and get a $10 coupon for your next shopping trip (called a Register Reward at Walgreens). This week diapers are on sale for $10 a pack.
Print out coupons from the following sites: Coupons.com and Red Plum for $5 and $3 (I think they'll allow you to print two of each and they may only have them available for so long, so check it out soon). You can also find ones for Huggies in the 2/8 Smart Source insert or 3/1 Smart Source for $1.50 - not as good a deal, but still...
Here's an additional help that Jill points out:
Then, if you can find one, pick up the 99-cent coloring book from Walgreens. It contains a bunch of Walgreens store coupons, including one for $1 off Huggies. You will only need one, as Walgreens coupons apply to all your like items in one order. (Additionally, most Wags will let you keep the coupon, as they just discard the store coupons at the end of the day.)This is how she does the math:
3 packs of Huggies @ $10 = $30That's my deal alert for today. More frugal tips to come!
Minus $1 x 3 for coloring book coupon = $27
Minus two $5 coupons and one $3 coupon = $14
Pay $15 and get at $10 RR = $4 for 3 packs of Huggies!
Friday, March 06, 2009
Let's Sing a Shanty
"Let's sing a shanty," LMH said to her sisters this morning. Because that's what all kids sit around and sing, right?
And so they did. Little Miss History, Timid Daughter and the Uber-Princess belted out The Drinking Gourd as solemnly, deeply, and loudly as three little white girls can.
"Follooooow...the dri inkin' goooourddd. Follooooooww...the dri inkin' gooourddd. The old man is a waitin' gonna carry you ta freedom..."
I laughed a moment to hear them sing such an unconventional song. But then I sobered up. I remembered the other night as we walked home from an evening program at school and the Uber-Princess looked up at the stars and asked me, "where is the Drinking Gourd, Mommy?".
She knows what it is, if not the significance of the song they sang today. We listen to this kind of music and we talk about it. They like to know. They like to learn. And so their daddy has been urging them to bring home the book from the school library about The Drinking Gourd so we can read it again.
I wanted to post a video of this song so you can get a feel for it, but none of the ones on YouTube match the version we know best. I was excited, however, to see one there with images of Graue Mill in Hinsdale - a local stop on the underground railroad near my childhood home. We need to go there sometime to flesh out that part of our country's history and underscore the meaning of this shanty my kids sing.
How about in your home? What kind of songs does your family sing?
And so they did. Little Miss History, Timid Daughter and the Uber-Princess belted out The Drinking Gourd as solemnly, deeply, and loudly as three little white girls can.
"Follooooow...the dri inkin' goooourddd. Follooooooww...the dri inkin' gooourddd. The old man is a waitin' gonna carry you ta freedom..."
I laughed a moment to hear them sing such an unconventional song. But then I sobered up. I remembered the other night as we walked home from an evening program at school and the Uber-Princess looked up at the stars and asked me, "where is the Drinking Gourd, Mommy?".
She knows what it is, if not the significance of the song they sang today. We listen to this kind of music and we talk about it. They like to know. They like to learn. And so their daddy has been urging them to bring home the book from the school library about The Drinking Gourd so we can read it again.
I wanted to post a video of this song so you can get a feel for it, but none of the ones on YouTube match the version we know best. I was excited, however, to see one there with images of Graue Mill in Hinsdale - a local stop on the underground railroad near my childhood home. We need to go there sometime to flesh out that part of our country's history and underscore the meaning of this shanty my kids sing.
How about in your home? What kind of songs does your family sing?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Pierced
Last summer we let LMH get her ears pierced. Nine years old seemed a little young to me, but she really wanted to and her father thought it would be fine. So I agreed. We all went as a family for the big event. She was brave. Her sisters were awed.
Fastforward to last month. Timid Daughter had been gleefully wearing the clip-on earrings she received for Christmas every time she could:not to the playground where they could get lost, not to school, not to church... And so she'd stare at her sister's ears and wistfully say, "I wish I could get my ears pierced". But she knew the rule: not until she was nine like her sister.
Unbeknownst to her, these mournful conversations were tugging at her father's heartstrings.
"We could get hers done now," he'd say to me. "It's a good time of year. No soccer to worry about."
And I'd shake my head and think, 'too young. Too young'. But before long, between his rational explanations and her reveries about life when she had pierced ears, I'd had my arm twisted. And so we trooped off to the mall again as a family. Timid Daughter got pierced ears...and so did the Uber-Princess.
"It's easier to just do them both at once. If you're taking care of one's ears, you can do the other just as well," Musing Dad had reasoned.
The Uber-Princess was excited to get hers done too. She picked out a demure pair of cubic zirconia studs. She climbed bravely up into the chair and sat perfectly still. She grimaced only slightly at the pain, then stared proudly in the mirror at her glittering ears.
All was well until the next day. Suddenly the sight of my baby with pierced ears wrenched at my heart. 'Too young! Too young!' I thought to myself. How can it be that this is my little baby? She looks so much older...and yet not.
It went that way for me for a few days as I mourned this simple rite of passage come too soon in our household. It is done. The girls are so happy. But if any mom out there has their young daughters asking for pierced ears, I caution you to think about it. There's always tomorrow or next year (or the year after even). Don't let them grow up too fast, even if it's just a simple hole in the ear.
Fastforward to last month. Timid Daughter had been gleefully wearing the clip-on earrings she received for Christmas every time she could:not to the playground where they could get lost, not to school, not to church... And so she'd stare at her sister's ears and wistfully say, "I wish I could get my ears pierced". But she knew the rule: not until she was nine like her sister.
Unbeknownst to her, these mournful conversations were tugging at her father's heartstrings.
"We could get hers done now," he'd say to me. "It's a good time of year. No soccer to worry about."
And I'd shake my head and think, 'too young. Too young'. But before long, between his rational explanations and her reveries about life when she had pierced ears, I'd had my arm twisted. And so we trooped off to the mall again as a family. Timid Daughter got pierced ears...and so did the Uber-Princess.
"It's easier to just do them both at once. If you're taking care of one's ears, you can do the other just as well," Musing Dad had reasoned.
The Uber-Princess was excited to get hers done too. She picked out a demure pair of cubic zirconia studs. She climbed bravely up into the chair and sat perfectly still. She grimaced only slightly at the pain, then stared proudly in the mirror at her glittering ears.
All was well until the next day. Suddenly the sight of my baby with pierced ears wrenched at my heart. 'Too young! Too young!' I thought to myself. How can it be that this is my little baby? She looks so much older...and yet not.
It went that way for me for a few days as I mourned this simple rite of passage come too soon in our household. It is done. The girls are so happy. But if any mom out there has their young daughters asking for pierced ears, I caution you to think about it. There's always tomorrow or next year (or the year after even). Don't let them grow up too fast, even if it's just a simple hole in the ear.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Five-Star Friday
I woke up with a question running through my brain this morning: what kind of day would it be? And along with that question came the thought: wouldn't it be nice if someone could preview our days for us and write up a handy review? That way we'd know whether we should get out of bed or just pull up the blankets and stay put.
A simple movie review format would work fine for me. Give me the star rating - on a scale of one to five, how would you rate this day? Is it a two-star day? A four-star? And maybe a quick recap of the highlights (without giving away any spoilers) would be a big help, not to mention the perspective that would come from hearing it summarized by an objective viewer.
It just seemed to me, in that early morning sleepy brain state, that it would make things so much easier. I could be prepared for the junk to come if I knew it was going to be one of those two-star kind of days - you know, lower my expectations right off the bat. And even if it started out rocky, knowing a day ultimately rated five stars would give me the courage to press on and perhaps give me a little bit of excited anticipation too.
So far today has been a five-star Friday. I wonder how it would have been if I'd known that this morning.
A simple movie review format would work fine for me. Give me the star rating - on a scale of one to five, how would you rate this day? Is it a two-star day? A four-star? And maybe a quick recap of the highlights (without giving away any spoilers) would be a big help, not to mention the perspective that would come from hearing it summarized by an objective viewer.
It just seemed to me, in that early morning sleepy brain state, that it would make things so much easier. I could be prepared for the junk to come if I knew it was going to be one of those two-star kind of days - you know, lower my expectations right off the bat. And even if it started out rocky, knowing a day ultimately rated five stars would give me the courage to press on and perhaps give me a little bit of excited anticipation too.
So far today has been a five-star Friday. I wonder how it would have been if I'd known that this morning.
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