Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Humbling: When Your Ego Takes a Tumbling

"Oh, Lord, it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way". I used to sing that song at the top of my lungs as a child, a crooked lilt to the words. And I remember my parents laughing at me when I did. But truth is, I often lived my life as if I believed it.

Then yesterday I learned a lesson in humility, thankfully in the privacy of my own head. I'd been getting bummed about my abilities as a writer and a speaker. Reading through writer's group threads and blogs by professionals in the field of publishing and speaking, I'd come to the realization that I was one of those relative "newbies" that they were all describing. After all, I have only one book to my credit and a handful of magazine articles. Sure I've attended a half dozen writing conferences and I've been "writing" since I was six. But a "professional" writer that does not make. As much as I hope it might, it doesn't. I was reading these posts to learn more about the industry and what I learned most is that I have a lot to learn. It made me depressed.

But in the moments of quiet, before I went to sleep I began to contemplate reality: I really do have a lot to learn. I am a "newbie" in many senses. And that was humbling. Yet in the midst of that humbling, my depression disappeared. I was glad to know that I don't have it all together yet. It was good to realize how much I have to learn without making a fool of myself in the process. It was freeing to start my day today knowing that my efforts now will hopefully be outdone by what I do next year as I learn more.

Being at (or near) the bottom of the heap isn't a bad thing. It's just a starting point.

Proverbs 15:33 "The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor."

6 musings:

Craver Vii said...

Ain't no thang! You're a star to us!!

Llama Momma said...

I'm right there with you...

L.L. Barkat said...

The Blogworld is a humbling place for a writer (of any kind!). Thankfully, there are a lot of readers out there, and some of them will want to be in your little corner. (That's what I always tell myself, to console. :)

Michelle Gregory said...

At least there are a lot of us newbies out there, me included. Nice that we can encourage and support each other.


A Musing Mom said...

Craver-thanks. That means something!

LM-and I'm grateful for the good company.

LL-wise words and so true. Thanks for the reminder.

Michelle-that is one of the great blessings of the online community, isn't it? If it weren't for the contact with those going before and the company of peers who are where we're at, our progress might be much slower.

Jo said...

So true... beautifully written too. I'm in a struggle with giving up my all and recognizing that I don't need to know everything right now. Its a season of absolute surrender - surrendering everything. Praise the Lord for providing me with a place where I can rest... I love your blog, your thoughts and your heart. You ARE an amazing writer!