Burning the Candle at Both Ends

Thankfully the title of this post doesn't entirely capture life for me recently. But sometimes it feels like it. Between new school routines, work and a class I'm taking that's proven to be rather rigorous, this little blog has gone by the wayside for a while. It's not that I don't have anything to write about, but that there's so much to write about and not enough time.

Here's what I'm thinking about today: candles. That's right, those little (or big) wax things with a wick that used to be used for light, but now are pretty much just decoration. I have a lot of candles. But I haven't much paid attention to them in the past. I remember a wise friend who is known for having candles lit in her house, pretty much 24/7, advising that it's a great gesture to make your house more welcoming. I tried putting her advise into practice, but more often than not would remember until after the fact.

Then I read about a writer who would stage her writing area in such a way as to cue herself that it was time to write (I think it was Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project). She'd go to her writing space and would light a candle before starting her work for the day. I decided that this was just the thing to banish my lazy writer ways. I needed a candle for my office. So before the school year started, I took my children to Yankee Candle and proceeded to sniff every one of their candles in a search for the perfect scent for my office. It needed to be something gentle. Not too sweet, not too musky. Something soothing and cozy. I decided on "Drift Away". It seemed fitting for what I hoped would happen as my fingers scrambled over the keyboard - that I'd drift away into my writerly world. I'd become prolific.

Since then I've been kind of candle crazy. I actually remembered to light the wonderful Autumn Wreath jar candle I've kept in my powder room prior to the arrival of some overnight guests (partly because I needed to cover up the Scrubbing Bubbles scent from our mad cleaning spree). And most days I light my office candle as I settle in for a writing session. The promise of a beautiful scent and the calming sounds of my favorite Pandora stations tends to woo me into the office. The candle and music ritual seems to be working.

But I don't always write in my office. When my family is around and I still have writing to do, I like to sit in our living room with my laptop. What to do? I have no candle for the living room. You can imagine then how thrilled I was to get an Amber Sunset jar candle as a gift recently. It took me a few moments to think of where to put it, but then I remembered: my candle-less living room.

An added bonus of my new found fondness for candles? My family will have a much easier time finding gifts for me this year for Christmas. They can just pick up Drift Away or Storm Watch or even Garden Sweet Pea for me. It's one way to get onto the dedication page of my next book. : )

Julie, Julia and Me

In an odd confluence of events that occurs, oh, about once every 3-5 years, a friend wanted to see a first-run movie that interested me on a night where I had nothing going on. So we went, along with two other friends. And can I say that it felt an awful lot like coming out of a cave after a long hibernation? We all blanched at the ticket price and gagged at the outrageous cost for popcorn and drinks. I'm a cheapie theatre buff who goes back for the free refills on my small popcorn that I'm sharing with my three children. This truly was a splurge. But it was worth it.

We saw Julie & Julia. I had read reviews of the book when it came out. Since I'm not a foodie, I had no desire to read it. But seeing the movie, I really related to Julie Powell. True story: she was a wanna-be writer, working as a secretary for the government resolving post 9-11 settlements. Cooking was her source of comfort. So her husband encouraged her to start a blog and she came up with the idea of cooking her way through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Hence The Julie/Julia Project is born.

It was so funny to watch them set up her blog and then her early days of wondering whether anyone is actually reading. All of us bloggers can relate, no? Then our paths diverge. She gets fan mail from readers who send her food for her recipes (okay, so c'mon y'all - where's my fan mail? How about some craft supplies? JK!). Soon she's featured in the New York Times and gets dozens of phone calls from agents and publishers begging to sign her on for a book and later on that book becomes a movie (can you guess which one?). I'm sure that will all happen for me once everyone gets the clue that it's all about the fan mail and if you never send it, I'll never get that interview and all those contracts.

Then there were the shifts over to Julia Child's story. One word: fascinating. Meryl Streep gave a great performance. I mean, to hear her was to hear Julia Child all over again. And I found myself nodding and laughing through the interactions with publishers and editors. Particularly the scene where she furtively opens a letter from the publisher, wondering whether it will be good news or bad. Yes! That's how it goes! No one ever opens those letters or emails without a bit of hesitation and trepidation. What if it's a rejection? Is it too much to hope it's not? I'm pretty sure I was the only one in the theater that sat there shaking their head at how totally true that scene was. I've been there. Hopefully I'll be there again someday. That is how it is! Oh, except I'm not sure if my husband would jump up and down and shout for joy with me if I ever actually get one of those good letters again. He usually just gives me a "that's nice" and let's me do the jumping up and down by myself. But I do jump. And I think most writers do.

So the evening really was one of those once-in-a-long-time events (except for an eventful attempt to go to Starbucks, which you can read about here). A fun time out with friends, no child on my lap for a movie that I actually wanted to see and wasn't watching for the sake of my children or husband. A nice way to end "Back to School Week".

School is Back, Back, Back!

Maybe that's why I'm feeling like things are all scattered and needing to be put back. So first things first, I'm getting the kids put back. Back on schedule. And back in school. The Uber-Princess is still here with me for another day, so I'm not actually alone until the other two get back. But once kindergarten starts, then it's really time to get back on track. Hopefully in the meantime, somebody's got my back. Because it just feels like I've got back to back chores to complete around here. Between supplying the children for school and getting some room occupants swapped, I've been breaking my back to get stuff done. But let me back up a moment: this is "Back to School" week for us. So hopefully this whole scheduling thing will come back to me soon.

In the spirit of the whole back to school thing, check out what Christina Katz is doing on her Writer Mama blog next month:
"For the third year in a row, The Writer Mama, Christina Katz, is giving away thirty books in thirty days. All you have to do to participate is answer the question that Christina will pose daily. One lucky winner will win each day. There is no limit to how many times you can enter. The drawing is for U.S. residents. You don’t have to be a mom, but of course, the event is created with moms in mind, so please tell all the writer mamas you know! See ya in September at http://thewritermama.wordpress.com."

She's even posted a list of books for week one here. So if you're a writer, check it out. Or even if you're just a mama, that's reason enough too.

Solitude

I'm on my own for the next three days. The kids are off for some fun with their second cousins out at Grandma & Grandpa's Lake House. Amusing Dad is mostly at work. So it's just me. Solo. Alone.

This fact was not lost on the Uber-Princess. As we were driving to their grandparents' local residence to drop them off for their trip, she suggested a puppy.

"You know, Mom," she explained. "Once I go to first grade you're going to be alone every day. You might get lonely. You need a puppy to keep you company."

No matter that first grade for her is still a year away. She was thinking ahead. And she was thinking of how I'll feel with her gone all day. It worried her. Need I say that this speaks volumes about the Uber-Princess herself? She is a social butterfly. The concept of being alone all day would be torturous to her. And of course, she wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I'm not getting a puppy any time soon. Being alone does not bother me. In fact, I sometimes rather like it. Like today. I did wake up early enough to see Amusing Dad and wish him a good day. But since then I haven't seen or spoken to another soul. And it's been grand!

There is more room for my thoughts in this empty house of mine. And space to relax. I've done some straightening in different rooms with the glad thought that they'll still be that way tonight...and tomorrow... and even for a while the next day. And I'm disciplining myself to hack away on some writing and speaking projects that would otherwise progress in only fits and starts with the children around.

Here's another odd thing, I'm listening a little more to my own voice. Not my spoken voice - I haven't heard it since I talked to Amusing Dad this morning (and I couldn't hear it when I was singing while out on an early morning bike ride because my headphones blocked it out). I'm listening to my internal voice, the voice of my thoughts. In writing, the big hairy objective that most new writers fail to achieve is finding their "voice", that is, getting the voice in their brain down onto paper. I'm wondering if I've found it. But it means getting time and space to listen. So that's what I'm doing today.

And my inbox is down to 20!

November by the Numbers

57,397 words written
100's of games of Solitaire played in avoidance of writing
48 hours of butt-in-chair, must-get-this-done effort made (roughly)
12's (dozens) of cups of tea and hot chocolate consumed
10 fingers worked to the bone
9 different disasters incorporated into the plot (give or take a few)
8 copies of the draft sent by email as back-up
7 characters insinuated themselves into A Musing Mom's life
6 or more blog posts never got written
4 family members made room for writing time
3 "write-ins" attended
2 hands and arms ached from the rigors of endless typing

...all in the pursuit of ONE novel (in rough draft form).

When I saw this sign on our vacation last month I was tempted to buy it. How true, huh?

Well, that was more than a month ago. And you might be thinking that since I'm 18 days into my noveling frenzy that it would be truer than ever. I've spent tens of hours at my computer and typed more than 73 single-spaced pages, totalling over 30,000 words. I've downed dozens of cups of hot chocolate (sorry, coffee makes me edgy late at night) and scribbled notes on stacks of index cards. I'm on track to finish at least a 50,000-word novel by November 30th.

So it would be so easy right now to play on your sympathy and tell you how my children are starved for attention, my freezer is empty and the dust bunnies are growing in greater numbers than my word count. I could act like my wrists are screaming in pain from carpal tunnel and my back is aching from hunching over my computer. I could moan about the rigors of dealing with uncooperative characters and plot holes as big as Manhattan.

But it would all be a lie (okay, so my whole left arm is inflamed and the fingers on my left hand occasionally feel numb, plus the dust bunny part is kinda true). Over the past eighteen days I've fed my children and gotten them off to school, cooked, cleaned, done laundry, been on two radio interviews and done two speaking engagements, hung out with friends and... Well, I've pretty much done everything I'd normally be doing. Then instead of spending my evenings reading a book, playing solitaire or getting beat at some game by my husband, I've retreated to my den and spent an hour and a half writing. Add in some bigger chunks of writing on the weekend and it totals up to over 30,000 words so far.

Think about it: how many goals or tasks have you seen as so monumental that you never even attempted them? How many things could you achieve if you committed yourself to baby steps every day? I'm beginning to see that probably many of life's big accomplishments were reached though a series of regular everyday baby steps.

What's your big dream? What's your next goal? And what will you do today and the day after that and the day after that until you achieve it?

Me? I'm going to keep on setting my rear on my chair in the den for the next twelve days in hopes of crossing the NaNo finish line. When I get there I plan to have a celebration - it just won't be at my house. Too many dust bunnies for that.

NaNoWriMo Update

Yeah, I know it's only a few days into the month, so what possibly could there be said at this juncture about my stunning work of creative brilliance? Not much really, except that it is historical fiction (or perhaps hysterical since I've engaged in a minimal amount of research about the time period in which it occurs) and I'm over 9,000 words into it. I'm feeling like it was wise to go all out in the beginning here because the more words I have done, the more I feel like I'm committed to this mammoth undertaking.

It's been fun to hear of other writer friends taking up the challenge with me. I think that is part of what makes NaNoWriMo such a great adventure: the thrill of "competition" and the company that such misery requires. That said, I can't figure out the NaNoWriMo buddy system, so instead I invite anyone who'd like to buddy up with me to add me to their NaNoWriMo buddy list. Here is a link to my user profile for you to do that (Llama Momma, the one I previously gave you I've ditched. Sorry): http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/436784 .

All you non-writers, don't worry, I have other non-writing thoughts I plan to share in the next few days. In the meantime I have some wild beasts to fend off and some hungry characters to feed.

No Doubt

She Speaks was a great conference. As a writer, speaker and blogger I would have loved to have sat it on almost every workshop they had. As it was, though, I ended up on overload with all the information I gained in the ones I did get to. Translating it all to my life will make a world of difference.

I mentioned in my previous post that it was more than just a conference. It had all the makings of a great retreat: awesome worship sessions, Bible-centered keynote talks, tranquil prayer room and good bonding time in small groups. With the high caliber of speakers they had, I found myself reaching for a Kleenex not only in the main sessions, but also just about every workshop (okay, so in the "What Not to Wear" workshop it might have been tears of lament over having to give up my terrific oversized handbag that's not proportional to my medium-sized body). I've been summing it up for folks as a "10-hankie weekend".

On Saturday evening, Renee Swope spoke on "Beyond the Shadow of Doubt". At the end of her talk she invited everyone to write down on a postcard the doubts they were having. And then we were invited to come forward and lay those doubts at the foot of the cross and take a verse card that was there -- verse cards that had been prayed over, seeking that each one would answer the doubts and needs of the receiver.

It was amazing to see the universality of doubt. Every woman there seemed to experience it to one degree or another. Many were crying as they came forward.

It was also amazing to see how the verse cards truly did meet the needs of each one's heart. One postcard placed at the cross went something like this: "I'm feeling like I'm only second-rate and not worthy of doing anything significant". The verse that person received? "You are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you. Isaiah 43:4."

There is no doubt that God is using Proverbs 31 Ministries and the She Speaks conference to equip women ask writers, speakers, women's ministry leaders, and yes, bloggers. It is unlike any other writers' conference I have been to.

Blog Interview on Book Promotion

Michelle Gregory at Life in the Midst of Writing has been doing a series of author interviews on the subject of book promotion - in part due to her interest learning book promotion for her new release, Eldala, and I believe (correct me, Michelle, if I'm wrong) also in part as a lead-up to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) next month.

Today she features an interview with yours truly. If you're interested, check it out and let me know what you think. She does a good job interviewing and has featured some neat writers, so it's a fun series to read.

Whose Story Is It Anyway?

I've been learning a little about fiction writing lately, just for fun and a new challenge. One concept that has stuck with me (I'm pretty sure it was Randy Ingermanson who said it) is that to give depth to the story you have to consider all your characters as thinking the story is about them - even the minor characters. Hmmm... interesting idea isn't it?

The thing is, there's a universal truth to that idea. We all tend to think of stories as being about us. That wedding I'm going to? I've gotten a new dress and a hair cut for it. 'Cuz it's about me? Right? Okay, maybe not. But I'm sure the bride is thinking that and, well...she's right.

Anyway, my small group is studying Revelation (nice, light topic for summer, eh?). It's prophetic. It's about the end of our world as we know it to be. And so, of course, we think the story is about us. So what do we do? We try to interpret all the symbolism and story in light of ourselves and our world. Which is all good and well and even a little interesting. But, in my mind, it's futile to approach the book that way alone (and our small group is doing a good job avoiding that). Jesus even said that no one knows the day or hour (nor, I presume, can know).

Here's the thing:it's not really about us so much. We're just minor characters. It's about God. It's HIS story. When I began thinking about it that way yesterday, it suddenly became so much more interesting and not nearly so freaky frightening. After all, I love God. He loves me. And in the story of Revelation? He wins. The bad guys lose. When the focus is on God, the when and how aren't so important. Then we can see that yes, these things must happen to support the nature and character of God. And who likes a story where the bad guy goes free? Nobody. We want to see justice done. And, when you look at it as God's story, that's what happens in Revelation.

Okay, I'm no theologian, so feel free to disagree with me. I'm just a writer. That's my story...and I'm stickin' to it.

I'm in Business

officially speaking. In another small step on the long journey to launching my book, I drove to the county clerk's office today, paid my five dollars and set up my freelance writing & publishing business.

It was one of those milestones in life that arrive without fanfare. It was mildly reminiscent of the day I walked into that same clerk's office to get a marriage license. That day I was accompanied not by my three-year-old daughter, but by the love of my life. I was awed by the process. As we submitted forms with our place of birth and date and place of marriage, I remarked to future Musing Dad that we were creating geneaological records. Someday long after that, once we'd been personally forgotten, maybe someone would look at those papers and recall the marriage of these two people from whom generations had been descended.

It wasn't as starry-eyed an experience this time of course. The uber-princess let out periodic squeals as she played her GameBoy while leaning against my leg. The clerk had to reinput the data a couple of times. And I got a paper filled with legalese on my next steps to getting my business certificate.

But as I drove home I dreamed of what the future could be for my business. Someday I might be selling hundreds of books while traveling around giving talks. I'd have a healthy portfolio of corporate clients. I'd be a regular contributor to a magazine or two. I'd be getting my kids off to school and going into my home office to work on writing my novel until they arrived home at the end of the day.

And then I pulled my car in the drive, helped the uber-princess into the house and shelved the official business forms so I could move the laundry into the dryer.

Of Pigs & Prose

I'm beginning to compose my list of "goals" for 2007. Among them is a resolve to reread Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, a practice strongly suggested in one of the many books on writing I've read in the past year or so (naturally I can't remember which one). It's one of those self-improvement goals, kind of like saying I'll go to the gym three times a week (which I'm not saying because I don't belong to a gym).

It also seems like a good time to reread that manual in honor of the editor who revived and revised Strunk's original "little book". Here's a tidbit for you to throw into New Year's Eve party conversations to sound well-read or cultured or something: the White of "Strunk & White" is none other than the author of Charlotte's Web, now showing in movie form at theaters around the U.S. The background story goes something like this: in 1918 Strunk, a Cornell University professor, privately published a forty-three page book containing elementary rules of usage and composition. E.B. White studied under him in 1919, but didn't recall the book until 1957. As editor of the New Yorker, he decided to write a piece on Strunk and his rules of writing. Two years later White was commissioned to revise the "little book" for publication by MacMillan & Company. So the revised and expanded edition is what we commonly know as Strunk & White's Elements of Style. Learn something new? Don't let a discussion of Charlotte's Web go by without mentioning this fun bit of information (then again if you're not a writer geek like me, maybe you should).

And now I'm wondering just how many of those elementary rules I've broken in this blog entry alone. I've definitely got to get my hands on a copy of that book soon.

Walter Wangerin Jr.

Walter Wangerin Jr. is one of top three favorite contemporary writers (Anne Lamott ranks up there with him too). If you haven't read any of his books you ought to. I started with As For Me and My House which is a gut-wrenching non-fiction book on marriage. I loved it and immediately was drawn to read more of Wangerin's work, but I wouldn't necessarily say to start there. The Book of the Dun Cow comes to mind as a good starting place. It's fiction; an allegory.

Wangerin is one of those writers whose prose is so strong and so...stylized? Maybe that's not the word. He just has a very strong voice. One that I have to be careful of for fear of picking it up and coming out with a bad imitation. C.S. Lewis is that way for me too. And Jean Shepherd. I never read any of them when I'm working on a writing project. They have a way of creeping in.

The reason I bring up Mr. Wangerin is that he's been on my mind lately. I had the great privilege of hearing him speak at Calvin College's Festival of Faith and Writing this year (I'd put in a suggestion that they invite him four years ago and hoped and prayed they would). It wasn't a disappointment at all. First, I have to admit my initial reaction to seeing him. I wrote it down in my notes: "he has a goatee and a ponytail!!!". I meant it in a positive way, probably because it validates a certain choice I made (love you, hon!). Anyway, it was great to hear him speak. More of a privilege because he was in the midst of treatment for cancer and wasn't guaranteed to be there. That fact also lent a sort of prophetic bent to his words. Here's a writer, speaking to writers, with death in view. I took lots of notes.

So fast forward. Knowing his condition (it's an aggressive cancer), I've been following his progress in his open letters to the public on his website. His writing there is just as strong and beautiful. But he hadn't written since September and I was beginning to wonder. Thankfully he posted a new letter on his web site about a week ago. I just read it Tuesday. Gladly. You really should read it too. I was in tears when I read the last few lines. What a great writer.

Fun with Words

I working on a serious edit of my first chapter today. It's been through several light revisions already, but I'm reading Noah Lukeman's The First Five Pages (a great book so far) and he's got some helpful exercises that I'm using to tighten up my writing. Adjectives and adverbs are the topic. So I'm vigorously hacking them out of my chapter (and putting them into my witty, charming, captivating blog here).

One of Lukeman's suggestions for making better use of words is to learn several new words a day. Right. I have so much extra time for doing that. Seriously though? I have no excuse. I've got "word of the day" on my Google home page, which puts up a new word, with definition, every day. And each word stays for three days. I'm thinking by the end of three days I should know the word before it disappears. I had been reading through a dictionary to try and find new words. Blah! It's pretty dull. You have to scan through tons of scientific terms and words you'll never use to find one new (and interesting) word. After a couple of days of trying that I gave up. "Word of the day" is a better option.

Here's a word for you today: quotidian. It's been my favorite new word for the past year or so. I first saw it in one of Lauren Winner's books. It basically means daily. And that's about the sum of most of what I do. Life as a mom is a quotidian existence. Same thing, over and over. Laundry, cleaning, cooking. Thankfully as my kids get older I'm starting to break free of that feeling, but when I first saw that word it held all the meaning of my diapering, face-wiping, feeding, and child-bathing lifestyle.

Try using the word quotidian in a sentence today (how hard can it be? Think of something routine in your life and attach the word quotidian to it). You'll make people pause in conversation as they wonder what that word you just used means. It sounds so brainy and lyrical too.

Life in Chunks

I’m a mom. That means I live my life in chunks. There’s the rare chunk of time in the morning (IF I manage to get up before the kids) where I have some quiet to myself. That’s followed by the breakfast & get ready for school chunk. Followed by a chunk of chores and/or take my three-year-old to gymnastics/storytime. Then there’s kindergarten pickup, followed by lunch. After lunch is a small chunk of alone time with my five-year-old (while the youngest starts her nap). And the middle of the day contains the blissful duo-nap chunk (which I’m in right now, aaaah). This chunk is where most of my writing occurs, although tiny bits occur in that early morning chunk and occasionally I’ll squeeze some into the nighttime chunk.

Anyway, you get the point. Rarely is there any long, uninterrupted portion of the day to devote to anything. It all happens in small bits. Which is why my “to do list” is generated on a weekly, rather than daily basis. Over the span of a week a lot gets done. Sometimes people will ask me how I “do it all”. I don’t do it “all”. My house isn’t spotless, although I’m cleaning parts of it every day. I exercise much less than I ever mean to. But I do manage to scrapbook (more on that another day) and occasionally sew, or make cards. Plus I write. All those things get thrown into the gaps between chunks (thankfully there’s no “defrag” program for my daily schedule) or into the naptime or nighttime chunk.

If you’re a mom and feeling your life is out of control, take a look at how your day is set up. Figure out the non-negotiable chunks that you have to work around. Now take control of the floating bits of time. That fifteen minutes after breakfast while the kids are getting dressed and ready for school – can that be yours to use? Naptime is a great option. But if your kids are always awake, can you plan a quiet activity for a half hour that allows you some “mommy time”? Just remember, it may be a few years before you get any amount of lengthy free time. Let those little chunks add up into something meaningful for now instead.

Oh, and if you’ve got an accommodating husband, ask for a big chunk to yourself. Maybe a Saturday afternoon at the movies with a friend. Or an evening off at a scrapbook workshop. I’m looking to go. Anyone wanna join me?

Donuts & Wardrobes

Yesterday my children got their Krispy Kremes - I mean report cards. Thankfully no surprises there. They generally got donuts- no, no, they got good grades. Yesterday. Today we got donuts: every A (or "plus" for lower elementary) equals a free original glazed donut, up to 6 per child; although today the cashier was being stingy and gave us only 6 total instead of 12 - for my 2 girls. I didn't quibble. It was enough for the four of us. And I bought a coffee so I wouldn't seem as much of a mooch (guilt, guilt, guilt).

After an enjoyable visit with the second grade and kindergarten teachers (yay!), we met my husband for lunch and then took a small "field trip". We've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia as a family. Just started our second time through The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (first time for my 5 and 3-year old). My husband reads us questions and comments from the family guide to the series called Roar (which I highly recommend). It mentioned that the real wardrobe is in Wheaton, Illinois. Just north of Naperville. So guess what we went to see?

It was pretty cool, actually. The Wade Center at Wheaton College has a whole collection of C.S. Lewis' possessions, including his writing desk and the wardrobe that his grandfather built and hand carved. The girls had fun looking into the wardrobe (which actually had fur coats hanging in it). Tolkien fans would appreciate the Center too. It houses writings and other materials from a total of seven Christian authors, some contemporaries and friends of Lewis, and others that figured into his writing (okay, I can't remember for sure how they all fit together, but it was something along those lines). Let's see how many names I can remember: Dorothy Sayers, George MacDonald, Owen Barfield, J.R.R. Tolkien, Lewis, G.K. Chesterton and... the other name escapes me. You can probably guess, if you're familiar with any of these writers, that my children lost interest after they saw all the Lewis and Narnia-related objects.

Seeing the writings of these great authors to and about one another, and reading a little about the writers group they formed together, really inspired me. Writing is such an isolated act. But working in community with other writers can make a huge difference. I know I've appreciated the times I've gotten to meet and share with writer friends. It's the whole "iron sharpening iron" concept in the context of the craft of writing. So, to my writers group friends: it's been too long. Let's get together soon.