Wednesday, July 22, 2009

On Behalf of Overly Pregnant Women

Warning: I am about to rant here. I try not to do that often in this forum, but there are cases where I feel it's warranted. This is one.

If you are pregnant and have not yet reached full term (and not the fakey, "you could go any day" full term, we're talking 39 or 40 weeks pregnant), unless you are of advanced maternal age or have a high-risk pregnancy or are expecting multiples - do not act like it is owed to you to have your baby as soon as possible. And do not complain about how hard it is and how big you feel. We all feel that way during the last few weeks.

But no one feels that way more than the woman who is 41 weeks pregnant. How dare you claim that you have a right to what she hasn't gotten. She deserves the sympathy for how long she has to wait. Not you!

And to the woman who demands that her doctor induce her ASAP even though she's not even at 39 weeks (I've sat next to her in the OB office before) I say, "shame on you! Get a spine - if you're about to become a mother for the first time, you're gonna need it."

Honestly, I am only this angry because of the affront to women who really have to tough it out and who do so with dignity and in silence. I have been that woman - three times (okay, maybe not the dignity part, and I'm not so sure about the silence, but still). My first child was born a full week past the due date and weighed in at 8 pounds 12 oz (mind you, I am a smaller person - 5'5" and 115 lbs. before that pregnancy). Only once I hit my due date did I start talking about getting induced. And even during pregnancies 2 & 3 I waited to be induced until my due date had passed by at least several days, if not a week. I never took it as my right to have that baby sooner.

As for people asking about your pregnancy - they're concerned. They see how tough it is on you and want to be an encouragement. Or else they're just excited for you. So get over yourself! Until your due date passes and people start asking, "You're still here?" as they gaze at your exploding belly, you are insulting every woman who has ever endured what you're going through with your expectations to be treated any different.

'Nuf said.

Inbox ballooning to 73 messages

7 musings:

everydayMOM said...

What happened? It sounds like something really ticked you off.

Hopefully, it's not your crazy friend who tries to convince OTHER people to get pregnant, so she's not alone. hahaha!

I'm part of the 41 week club and I agree that it's a tough road. I don't think I ever made it past 35 weeks though without whining. =]

Llama Momma said...

And as a mom who delivers all her babies early, I cringe every time I hear a mom who "can't wait until this baby comes out" and ISN'T overdue. I would have given anything to keep 'em in a little bit longer. :-)

A Musing Mom said...

everydayMoM - yes, there were some remarks made recently that really offended me. But pretty much they just reminded me of the whole situation and how often I run into it.

Also I should clarify, it's not so much the whining as the attitude of entitlement toward being able to choose when to have a baby and then choosing to have it early.

LM - Good perspective! You just further underscored what bad behavior it is to take the position of getting it over with quickly.

Then again, with all the hormones involved it's probably wishful thinking to hope that (some) moms-to-be would get a clue about how insensitive they're being.

And I'm not saying any of this as an across-the-board stereotype. There are just a handful of moms like this who irritate me immensely. The rest are a lot of fun to be around and usually contagiously excited (everyMom included).

everydayMOM said...

I know what you mean about the whole mentality of "let's schedule a c-section at 36 weeks because that's as long as I want to be pregnant."

Then, I get all of the comments asking if I'm ready for how much work it's going to be to have a newborn. I want to scream: "Ummm. Yep! It's a lot of work. But which one of my kids WASN'T worth it? Which one would I send back because he/she was too much trouble?!?"

Being pregnant and being a mom is hard work. But I say, "Let's get dirty!"

hellolittlepeepers said...

I hope I wasn't that whiney person. I went to due date and then late. I don't think it was that horrible to be late though. It was annoying that I had certain people asking when the baby was coming out because they were ready. They were actually annoyed that it didn't happen on the actual day I was due, because that was how it was supposed to work.

A Musing Mom said...

littlepeepers - I don't remember you being whiney. And what's up with people expecting you to stick with a timetable? Sorry you had to deal with that. Ugh!

Home CFO 60564 said...

Hi, Found your blogsite, miss you.

Son, 10 days after due date
Daughter, 7 days after due date
both were induced. I'm always curious to know how long it would have been for them to come on their own.