ArachnoFAUXbia

The decorating this time of year can sometimes bug me. Some of it creeps me out. It makes my skin crawl. It scares me. Why? Because I can't stand spiders. And we all know that the spider ranks up there in freak factor for Halloween decorations, particularly very large, very hairy spiders. Ugh! Just typing that wigs me out.

Spiders, living or dead, fake or real, drive me nuts. Something about the way they move and the idea that they can live in my house and walk across my body while I'm sleeping gets to me. Now, I'm not so squeamish that I actually scream when I see one. But I do jump and run or I jump and grab the nearest large implement-of-squashing and then half close my eyes to do the deed.

My daughters, thankfully, do not share in my fear. Most bugs and critters fascinate them. They'd rather get up close and inspect them than run or squash them. And they find my fear amusing. They enjoy teasing me about it - as in putting fake spiders and bugs under my pillow for laughs.

It must be all the exposure I've had to their fake spiders that has me particularly weirded-out this year. My tolerance for spiders of any kind has dipped to an all-time low. The pipe-cleaner spider the Uber-Princess has makes my skin crawl - I can't stand to see it. Yes, that's how bad it's gotten.

So I'm having a bit of a challenge this month in navigating the retail scene. Too much creep factor for me. In fact, the other day I encountered a rather large, black and orange long-legged spider poised above the bags of potatoes in the supermarket. I needed potatoes. I did not have in my possession any rather large shoes or implements-of-squashing. But I needed those potatoes. After a few shudders and a quick mental pep-talk, I squinched my eyes, scurried toward the bag farthest from the arachnid monster, grabbed and ran. It took a few minutes before my racing heart settled. Thankfully the rest of the store was bug free or my family might be going hungry.

I can't wait for November. Leaves and corn and Pilgrims sound so soothing. And hopefully by then my kids will have stopped leaving their critters on top of my things. I'm getting tired of cringing and flinging.