Last week was "Camp Week" in our family. I haven't been big on sending my kids to summer camps (I know - I'm a weird Naperville mom. Everybody in Naperville seems to send their kids to summer campS). But this year a few opportunities came up that seemed to fit my kids. Rather than spread them out and lock up multiple weeks of our summer, I chose to stack them all in one week. Can you say, "insanity"? It was worth all the driving though.
Here's a quick summary of our camp week:
LMH went to volleyball camp coached by the vball coaches from her future high school. Way cool for her! And great skill building. She had gone to vball camp last summer with the coaches from the other high school. It was good too. But this time seemed to ignite her interest even more. Maybe it was the fact that a handful of girls from her school were there. Maybe it was the fact that she could actually do the drills with some skill. And maybe it was the fact that she got some extra coaching at home from resident vball player - Dad. Probably it was all three. Who knows how far she'll get in playing volleyball. It's a competitive field in our fair city. We've heard of club players with lots of dedication (and skill?) not get on the high school team. For now, it's her sport and she loved the camp. Hurray!
Timid Daughter, get this, went to Christian Youth Theater camp. Yep, theater! Believe it or not, both her Dad and I think that she's the most likely of our three to be a performer. She's a natural ham, once she lets down her guard. So it was interesting to watch her progess over the course of the week. She loved the camp, but wasn't so big on their special dress themes. She worked hard every evening to practice the numbers she had learned. It was a tough camp - they had classes on singing, dancing and drama every day and then rehearsal for an hour and a half every afternoon. All that hard work showed once it came to the final performance on Friday. She did great! She sang, she danced and she spoke her line perfectly. Again, who knows if she'll ever go into drama or anything. But she got to try it out. And she tells me she was only a tiny bit nervous going on stage, if that means anything.
The Uber-Princess went to Safety Town to learn about, well, safety. I happen to find it very ironic that somebody ran into my car in the parking lot of Safety Town (and then fled - LMH was in the car waiting for me and witnessed it). Anyway, she learned a lot about safety. I had refused to put my older two in Safety Town when they were her age just out of principal. A friend had been adament that I should do it. I was stubborn and didn't. And after this week I don't regret that choice at all one bit (and no, it's not because of my car). U-P had lots of fun. But every day when she reported what she had done, her sisters chimed in with a "oh yeah, I did that in second grade (or first grade or...)". There were certainly some unique experiences she got - like being able to ride bikes in Safety Town and go inside an ambulance. But most of the material is being taught by the Safety Town folks in the public schools. And now U-P is sleeping with her bedroom door closed all the way, walking her bike across the street instead of riding and pointing out other safety concerns. As long as she doesn't get hyper about it, I'm fine.
As for me, I spent a bunch of Camp Week driving around town. But I did get some time for writing in between stops. And I did get myself signed up for an online writing course this Fall. That's as good as camp for me.
Will we try doing Camp Week next summer? Probably. I really, really enjoyed the evenings when we'd sit around the dinner table and everyone would report on what they had done and learned that day. I loved seeing my girls try something new or learn a new skill. That's a lot of what summer is about. But to me the other thing summer is about is just being free to play and ride bikes and go to the pool and BE. A. KID. So I don't see our family doing more than one camp in a summer.
How about your family? Anyone send their kids away for camp (I've always wondered what this would be like, both for parents and kid)? Anyone sign their kids up for multiple weeks of camp and can tell me the benefits of that ('cuz I'm open to understanding the thoughts behind it - I know there's got to be some good reasons for it)?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Friday, July 09, 2010
Summer is NOT Almost Over
There is something about the Fourth of July holiday that compels people (moms mostly) to start talking about how quickly the summer is going by. "It's just flying!" they'll say. And every year, but particularly this summer, I think the same thing. I stand there and listen to everyone talk about the fact that summer is nearly over on July 4th and think to myself, "Really??".
I haven't figured this one out yet, so maybe you (all two blog readers left after my long unexplained absence), can tell me. Why is this? Why do so many people think that with only one month of summer gone and nearly two months left, that summer is nearly over? If my math is right, there are around ninety days of summer (actually, I did a quick count and for my kids this year it is 89 days). And by July 4th, my children will have been out of school for exactly 38 days. That would make the summer 42% over. If you wanna round, you could say it's half over.
I'm a pessimist. I see the glass half empty all the time. But this one really gets me. By July 4th, we've just barely passed the summer solstice and our kids have fifty-one days left to hang around and go to the pool and catch lightening bugs and make smores. Folks, we've really got more time left than we've already had. Why do so many of you go around moaning that it's almost gone?!!! It is not almost gone. What have you been doing all this time that makes you feel like it's slipping through your fingers?
Ah! There it is. For our family, we've packed in a lot of summer fun by July 4th. So to look at all the time that is still left feels like it's not flying by at all. It must be that everyone else has a lot to still do and they don't feel like there's enough time to do it. That's it, right? Otherwise I'm still scratching my head over this one. Never has July 4th been near the end of the summer.
So there you have it. My opinion on summer's duration and July 4th. Yes, I'm still blogging (at least when something irks me enough). And I'm happy to say that I'm looking forward to all of the time we've got left this summer. We've got plenty planned and I hope to enjoy it.
I haven't figured this one out yet, so maybe you (all two blog readers left after my long unexplained absence), can tell me. Why is this? Why do so many people think that with only one month of summer gone and nearly two months left, that summer is nearly over? If my math is right, there are around ninety days of summer (actually, I did a quick count and for my kids this year it is 89 days). And by July 4th, my children will have been out of school for exactly 38 days. That would make the summer 42% over. If you wanna round, you could say it's half over.
I'm a pessimist. I see the glass half empty all the time. But this one really gets me. By July 4th, we've just barely passed the summer solstice and our kids have fifty-one days left to hang around and go to the pool and catch lightening bugs and make smores. Folks, we've really got more time left than we've already had. Why do so many of you go around moaning that it's almost gone?!!! It is not almost gone. What have you been doing all this time that makes you feel like it's slipping through your fingers?
Ah! There it is. For our family, we've packed in a lot of summer fun by July 4th. So to look at all the time that is still left feels like it's not flying by at all. It must be that everyone else has a lot to still do and they don't feel like there's enough time to do it. That's it, right? Otherwise I'm still scratching my head over this one. Never has July 4th been near the end of the summer.
So there you have it. My opinion on summer's duration and July 4th. Yes, I'm still blogging (at least when something irks me enough). And I'm happy to say that I'm looking forward to all of the time we've got left this summer. We've got plenty planned and I hope to enjoy it.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Summer Reading (as if!)
Summer to me, at its best, is about devouring books. It's about finding a cozy hammock or lawn chair or pool lounger and immersing myself in another world. As a child and young teen I could spend hours upon hours reading. Now? I'm happy to sneak a brief quarter- or half-hour stint of reading while the kids play. Which has been so frustrating given the material I've had in my hands for the past week or so. Cynthia Ruchti's book They Almost Always Come Home had me by the throat from the moment I read the back cover copy. And it didn't disappoint. I would have loved to have had long stretches of those old summer days to read it in one sitting. But it was still just as good in bits and snatches. Looking for a fun way to pass those empty bits and snatches yourself? Read on:
ABOUT THE BOOK:
(Wausau, WI) – At the foundation of each relationship resides the need to know love can survive even when feelings fade. In Cynthia Ruchti’s debut novel, They Almost Always Come Home, readers feel the desperation of this foundational yearning in a marriage clearly pulling loose from its moorings. Compounded by other issues—an unrewarding career and mismatched dreams—it’s enough to drive a man into the arms of the Canadian wilderness. When Greg Holden doesn’t return home from a wilderness canoe trip, his wife Libby wrestles with survivor guilt, a new layer of grief, and the belief that she was supposed to know how to fix her marriage. She planned to leave him—but how can she leave a man who’s no longer there? He was supposed to go fishing, not missing.
Libby has to find him before she can discover how their marriage ends. She plunges into the wilderness on an adventurous and risky manhunt, unsure what she will do if she finds him…or if she doesn’t. She expects to meet hardship, discomfort, and danger in the wilderness. She doesn’t expect to face the stark reality of her spiritual longing and a faint, but steady pulse that promises hope for reviving her marriage. If Greg’s still alive.
They Almost Always Come Home provides a glimpse into common, however uncomfortable, marital conflicts. Cynthia weaves a page-turning story, suspense building scene by scene. Her characters mirror ordinary people, living real-to-life situations, allowing readers to relate and sort through a myriad of emotions and life decisions. If fiction can contain adventure, riveting self-awareness, and romance all between the same covers, this is the book!
Cynthia Ruchti writes stories of “hope that glows in the dark.” She writes and produces The Heartbeat of the Home, a syndicated drama/devotional radio broadcast, and is editor for the ministry’s Backyard Friends magazine. She also serves as current president of American Christian Fiction Writers. Cynthia married her childhood sweetheart, who tells his own tales of wilderness adventures.
The Interview:
1. How would you describe your book?
The tagline for the book is “She’d leave her husband…if she could find him.”
When Libby’s husband Greg doesn’t return from a two-week canoe trip to the Canadian wilderness, the authorities write off his disappearance as an unhappy husband’s escape from an oatmeal marriage and mind-numbing career. Their marriage might have survived if their daughter Lacey hadn’t died and if Greg hadn’t been responsible. Libby enlists the aid of her wilderness-savvy father-in-law and her faith-walking best friend to help her search for clues to her husband’s disappearance. What the trio discovers in the wilderness search upends Libby’s assumptions about her husband and rearranges her faith.
It’s my prayer that this fictional adventure story and emotional journey will reveal its own hope-laden clues for those struggling to survive or longing to exit what they believe are uninspiring marriages. How can a woman survive a season or a lifetime when she finds it difficult to like the man she loves?
2. How were you different as a writer and as a person when you finished writing They Almost Always Come Home?
This book changed me in a profound way. It forced me to take a more honest look at myself and my reactions to crises so I could write Libby’s character with authenticity. Libby is a composite of many women. I haven’t experienced what she did, but I identify with some of her struggles and longings, as I hope my readers will. I see my friends in her eyes and know that her tears aren’t hers alone. Her shining moments feed my courage. Libby speaks for me and for many others when she discovers that she is stronger than she realized and weaker than she wanted to admit.
Writing her story was a journey for the author as much as for the character.
3. What did you feel the tug on your heart to become a writer?
My journey toward a lifetime of writing began by reading books that stirred me, changed me, convinced me that imagination is a gift from an imaginative Creator. As a child, I read when I should have been sleeping…and still do. I couldn’t wait for the BookMobile (library on wheels) to pull up in front of the post office in our small town and open its arms to me. Somewhere between the pages of a book, my heart warmed to the idea that one day I too might tell stories that made readers stay up past their bedtimes.
4. What books line your bookshelves?
My bookshelves—don’t ask how many!—hold a wide variety of genres. The collection expands faster than a good yeast dough. I’m a mood reader, grabbing a light comedy one day and a literarily rich work the next. Although I appreciate well-written nonfiction, I gravitate toward an emotionally engaging contemporary women’s fiction story.
Somthing Extra From the Author's Heart
Ten years ago, my husband almost didn’t come home. His canoe adventure with our son Matt soured on Day Two when Bill grew violently ill from what we presume was either pancreatitis or a gall bladder attack. He’s an insulin-dependent diabetic, so any grave illness is a threat. One in the middle of the Canadian wilderness is morgue material.
With no satellite phone with which to call for help, Matt took turns caring for his father and watching the shore for other canoeists happening past their hastily constructed campsite. The few other canoes were headed deeper into the remote areas of the park, not on their way out. None had a satellite phone. And none of them were doctors.
As my husband grew sicker, his diabetes went nuclear. He couldn’t eat, yet needed insulin because his liver thought it should help out by dumping vast quantities of sugar into his system. Even in a hospital setting, the situation would have been difficult to control, and the nearest hospital was light years away across vast stretches of water and woodland, through peopleless, roadless wilderness.
Our son stretched a yellow tarp across the rocks on shore and wrote S.O.S. with charcoal from a dead fire. He scratched out countless notes on pieces of notebook paper torn from their trip journal:
Send rescue! My dad is deathly ill.
Read the rest of the story at the KCWC BLOG
Full Disclosure: I received a copy of They Almost Always Come Home from Kathy Carlton Willis Communications. Shows how lucky I am, huh? And lucky for you too, because now you've got a great book to add to your list of summer reading that you might not have otherwise thought of. So there 'ya go!
ABOUT THE BOOK:(Wausau, WI) – At the foundation of each relationship resides the need to know love can survive even when feelings fade. In Cynthia Ruchti’s debut novel, They Almost Always Come Home, readers feel the desperation of this foundational yearning in a marriage clearly pulling loose from its moorings. Compounded by other issues—an unrewarding career and mismatched dreams—it’s enough to drive a man into the arms of the Canadian wilderness. When Greg Holden doesn’t return home from a wilderness canoe trip, his wife Libby wrestles with survivor guilt, a new layer of grief, and the belief that she was supposed to know how to fix her marriage. She planned to leave him—but how can she leave a man who’s no longer there? He was supposed to go fishing, not missing.
Libby has to find him before she can discover how their marriage ends. She plunges into the wilderness on an adventurous and risky manhunt, unsure what she will do if she finds him…or if she doesn’t. She expects to meet hardship, discomfort, and danger in the wilderness. She doesn’t expect to face the stark reality of her spiritual longing and a faint, but steady pulse that promises hope for reviving her marriage. If Greg’s still alive.
They Almost Always Come Home provides a glimpse into common, however uncomfortable, marital conflicts. Cynthia weaves a page-turning story, suspense building scene by scene. Her characters mirror ordinary people, living real-to-life situations, allowing readers to relate and sort through a myriad of emotions and life decisions. If fiction can contain adventure, riveting self-awareness, and romance all between the same covers, this is the book!
Cynthia Ruchti writes stories of “hope that glows in the dark.” She writes and produces The Heartbeat of the Home, a syndicated drama/devotional radio broadcast, and is editor for the ministry’s Backyard Friends magazine. She also serves as current president of American Christian Fiction Writers. Cynthia married her childhood sweetheart, who tells his own tales of wilderness adventures.
The Interview:
1. How would you describe your book?
The tagline for the book is “She’d leave her husband…if she could find him.”
When Libby’s husband Greg doesn’t return from a two-week canoe trip to the Canadian wilderness, the authorities write off his disappearance as an unhappy husband’s escape from an oatmeal marriage and mind-numbing career. Their marriage might have survived if their daughter Lacey hadn’t died and if Greg hadn’t been responsible. Libby enlists the aid of her wilderness-savvy father-in-law and her faith-walking best friend to help her search for clues to her husband’s disappearance. What the trio discovers in the wilderness search upends Libby’s assumptions about her husband and rearranges her faith.
It’s my prayer that this fictional adventure story and emotional journey will reveal its own hope-laden clues for those struggling to survive or longing to exit what they believe are uninspiring marriages. How can a woman survive a season or a lifetime when she finds it difficult to like the man she loves?
2. How were you different as a writer and as a person when you finished writing They Almost Always Come Home?
This book changed me in a profound way. It forced me to take a more honest look at myself and my reactions to crises so I could write Libby’s character with authenticity. Libby is a composite of many women. I haven’t experienced what she did, but I identify with some of her struggles and longings, as I hope my readers will. I see my friends in her eyes and know that her tears aren’t hers alone. Her shining moments feed my courage. Libby speaks for me and for many others when she discovers that she is stronger than she realized and weaker than she wanted to admit.
Writing her story was a journey for the author as much as for the character.
3. What did you feel the tug on your heart to become a writer?
My journey toward a lifetime of writing began by reading books that stirred me, changed me, convinced me that imagination is a gift from an imaginative Creator. As a child, I read when I should have been sleeping…and still do. I couldn’t wait for the BookMobile (library on wheels) to pull up in front of the post office in our small town and open its arms to me. Somewhere between the pages of a book, my heart warmed to the idea that one day I too might tell stories that made readers stay up past their bedtimes.
4. What books line your bookshelves?
My bookshelves—don’t ask how many!—hold a wide variety of genres. The collection expands faster than a good yeast dough. I’m a mood reader, grabbing a light comedy one day and a literarily rich work the next. Although I appreciate well-written nonfiction, I gravitate toward an emotionally engaging contemporary women’s fiction story.
Somthing Extra From the Author's Heart
Ten years ago, my husband almost didn’t come home. His canoe adventure with our son Matt soured on Day Two when Bill grew violently ill from what we presume was either pancreatitis or a gall bladder attack. He’s an insulin-dependent diabetic, so any grave illness is a threat. One in the middle of the Canadian wilderness is morgue material.
With no satellite phone with which to call for help, Matt took turns caring for his father and watching the shore for other canoeists happening past their hastily constructed campsite. The few other canoes were headed deeper into the remote areas of the park, not on their way out. None had a satellite phone. And none of them were doctors.
As my husband grew sicker, his diabetes went nuclear. He couldn’t eat, yet needed insulin because his liver thought it should help out by dumping vast quantities of sugar into his system. Even in a hospital setting, the situation would have been difficult to control, and the nearest hospital was light years away across vast stretches of water and woodland, through peopleless, roadless wilderness.
Our son stretched a yellow tarp across the rocks on shore and wrote S.O.S. with charcoal from a dead fire. He scratched out countless notes on pieces of notebook paper torn from their trip journal:
Send rescue! My dad is deathly ill.
Read the rest of the story at the KCWC BLOG
Full Disclosure: I received a copy of They Almost Always Come Home from Kathy Carlton Willis Communications. Shows how lucky I am, huh? And lucky for you too, because now you've got a great book to add to your list of summer reading that you might not have otherwise thought of. So there 'ya go!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
A Sweet Mail Delivery
I arrived home last night from a long weekend with LMH & Timid Daughter in New York City (more on that to come in a later post). We crammed in a quick rundown of our weekend during the car ride home with AmusingDad and the Uber-Princess. We followed that with a swift distribution of gifts - from us to the two left behind and from Uber-Princess to me for Mother's Day. Finally, once the exhausted travelers and their sister were snug in bed I set to sorting through the things that had accumulated in my absence. Among them was a mystery box sent priority mail. I hadn't been expecting anything, so it piqued my curiosity. Turns out, it's one of the sweetest packages I've ever received. Wanna see?
Yes, that's really a carefully wrapped, styrofoam-protected bottle of syrup. Funny, isn't it? I mean, how many people get bottles of syrup sent to them from the manufacturer? Turns out that this one came because I'd called some months ago about a defective cap. It had been threaded wrong so that the opening/pour spout ended up on the side toward the handle. It wouldn't go on any other way. Which made it impossible to use. It was probably due to a glitch in manufacturing, but I thought they should know. I wasn't complaining since I'd been able to switch the bad cap with one from another bottle. I just wanted to pass on what I'd discovered in case they need to fix the glitch.
So now I'm on their list - the list of people they send free bottles of syrup with newly designed caps and ask for feedback. I don't mind. I happen to really like this brand of syrup. And if the new cap is drip-proof like they say, then I'll like it even more.
That's all for now. I have to get back to the loads of laundry and backlog of emails. But tell me, have you ever gotten an interesting mystery box in your mail? If so, what was it?
Yes, that's really a carefully wrapped, styrofoam-protected bottle of syrup. Funny, isn't it? I mean, how many people get bottles of syrup sent to them from the manufacturer? Turns out that this one came because I'd called some months ago about a defective cap. It had been threaded wrong so that the opening/pour spout ended up on the side toward the handle. It wouldn't go on any other way. Which made it impossible to use. It was probably due to a glitch in manufacturing, but I thought they should know. I wasn't complaining since I'd been able to switch the bad cap with one from another bottle. I just wanted to pass on what I'd discovered in case they need to fix the glitch.So now I'm on their list - the list of people they send free bottles of syrup with newly designed caps and ask for feedback. I don't mind. I happen to really like this brand of syrup. And if the new cap is drip-proof like they say, then I'll like it even more.
That's all for now. I have to get back to the loads of laundry and backlog of emails. But tell me, have you ever gotten an interesting mystery box in your mail? If so, what was it?
Friday, April 30, 2010
New Food Allotment Standard
Have you noticed the new packaging for old foods? Lately there's arisen some 100-calorie craze. I think it started with cookies and stuff (I am particularly fond of the Oreo 100-calorie packs). And then I noticed the dried cranberries 100-calorie packs. Now the latest are packages of Kraft processed cheese squares (no, I did not notice that they were processed when I bought them or maybe I wouldn't have - a friend pointed that out). Apparently 100-calories equals something like six bite-sized squares of cheese. I'm wondering what food they'll dole out next in these small amounts.
And what makes 100-calories the magical number? Admitedly, it is a very visible and easy method of portion control. But really, who eats just one 100-calorie pack for a meal? There's everything else that you're not measuring out that adds up fast. Of course, this may be a conspiracy to package all of our foods in little packets and have us eating each part of our meal in systematic 100-calorie bits. Feels a bit Huxlian to me.
Also it runs terribly afoul of the whole green movement. The packaging is a virtual environmental nightmare. Inside each multi-pack box or bag are a half-dozen or so little packages. Yikes! How long before protestors notice and start saying something?
The whole thing has me scratching my head. Does it really work? I suppose when it was just the cookies I was feeling pretty good about myself because I could limit my snacking to a mere 100-calories. And perhaps that's the aim with the cheese bits too - that snackers control how much they munch on cheese. Beyond snacking though, it doesn't make any sense.
Anyone gotten hooked on the 100-calorie trend? I'm wondering if people have worked this new packaging into their diet. Does it work? Does it make you want to buy things because you can eat them 100-calories at a time?
And what makes 100-calories the magical number? Admitedly, it is a very visible and easy method of portion control. But really, who eats just one 100-calorie pack for a meal? There's everything else that you're not measuring out that adds up fast. Of course, this may be a conspiracy to package all of our foods in little packets and have us eating each part of our meal in systematic 100-calorie bits. Feels a bit Huxlian to me.
Also it runs terribly afoul of the whole green movement. The packaging is a virtual environmental nightmare. Inside each multi-pack box or bag are a half-dozen or so little packages. Yikes! How long before protestors notice and start saying something?
The whole thing has me scratching my head. Does it really work? I suppose when it was just the cookies I was feeling pretty good about myself because I could limit my snacking to a mere 100-calories. And perhaps that's the aim with the cheese bits too - that snackers control how much they munch on cheese. Beyond snacking though, it doesn't make any sense.
Anyone gotten hooked on the 100-calorie trend? I'm wondering if people have worked this new packaging into their diet. Does it work? Does it make you want to buy things because you can eat them 100-calories at a time?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Your Laugh for Today
If you are the mom of a preschooler or have ever been the mom of a preschooler or even just know a preschooler, you might want to check out an essay of mine that MOPS.org is running on their website about some things I've noticed about the perils of public restrooms. You can find it here.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Living on a Budget
Can you believe that my husband and I lived without a budget for most of the past 14 years? How did we do it? Well, I guess we both mostly just tried not to spend much and tried to save lots. It worked fine since our bank balance always stayed positive. Sure, we did have fun and splurge from time to time, but there wasn't a plan for it.
Then in February I read Dave Ramsey's book, The Total Money Makeover. For the first time ever, we spent the month of March living on a budget. At least I did. I'm not sure about my husband. He looked at the budget I prepared and contributed to deciding on the final numbers. But I don't know if he really paid attention to his spending. The good news is, it did seem to work. The numbers mostly balanced at the end of the month (with a little tweaking here and there). So for April we have another budget to live on.
It's definitely been a learning process. Here's what I've noticed so far:
On the whole, it feels good to have a plan. We're on our way to controlling our money better and directing it to where we really want it to go. Sure, you can't change the course of a river overnight, but bit by bit you can channel it in a new direction. That's what I hope living on a budget will do.
Anyone else have thoughts on budgets? Budget or no budget? What do you do?
Then in February I read Dave Ramsey's book, The Total Money Makeover. For the first time ever, we spent the month of March living on a budget. At least I did. I'm not sure about my husband. He looked at the budget I prepared and contributed to deciding on the final numbers. But I don't know if he really paid attention to his spending. The good news is, it did seem to work. The numbers mostly balanced at the end of the month (with a little tweaking here and there). So for April we have another budget to live on.
It's definitely been a learning process. Here's what I've noticed so far:
- if you think that $5 for prescriptions is a totally reasonable amount to budget because nobody. ever. gets. sick. you can plan on at least two trips to the pharmacy in the first week, one of which is for your own allergy medicine that completely blows the budget, even with insurance.
- pharmacy coupons go a long way in making up for unexpected expenses and after two trips and two good coupons, you may manage to stick to your budget after all. Having a budget means you get to pat yourself on the back for such dollar wrangling.
- there are so many odds and ends of expenses that you never notice if you don't have a budget. Like yet another field trip to pay for. Or new soccer shoes for your growing fifth-grader. Or that whopping pool club maintenance fee that is due this month, but you weren't thinking about because who in Illinois is thinking about swimming in April???
- if you have to account for spending only what you have available and it looks tight, you'll become very creative in finding money. Your dining out fund is already drained for the month? Gee, maybe it's time to use that restaurant gift card that's been languishing in a desk drawer. And hey, how about cashing in the credit card reward refund check while you're at it. That counts toward more money to spend, right?
On the whole, it feels good to have a plan. We're on our way to controlling our money better and directing it to where we really want it to go. Sure, you can't change the course of a river overnight, but bit by bit you can channel it in a new direction. That's what I hope living on a budget will do.
Anyone else have thoughts on budgets? Budget or no budget? What do you do?
Monday, March 22, 2010
Dwindling Choices
After a trip to Russia a couple decades ago, a the part of culture shock that I experienced on my return to the U.S. related to the huge amount of choices available to us. Take a trip to the grocery store for a simple gallon of milk and you can see this at work. If you want milk, you can choose from name brand or store brand. And then there's fat free, 1%, 2% or whole milk. Or maybe you'd like organic milk. White or chocolate? Soy or cow? Crazy, isn't it? Or not. It doesn't seem at all crazy to us because it's our world. We learn to navigate the myriad of choices by creating a habit. I buy 2% milk and usually the store brand. So immediately I've narrowed the options available. If I want to change my habit though, I could easily switch to say, organic. After trying a few varieties I would probably narrow in on my preferred brand (or store) and stick with it.
And all the options we have, whether it be car insurance, radio stations, or milk, all stem from the free flow of commerce in a healthy capitalist society. At least that's my take on it (don't quote me, since I'm no economics guru). The thing is, I make this observation because I see the tide flowing the other way as our economy struggles. Our options are dwindling. I used to have four, five or maybe even more, furniture stores I could shop at when I wanted to buy something new for my home. Of those, at least two have closed down in recent years. Across all sectors of goods and services, more and more companies are closing their doors. With them go options.
I mention all of this because I see it happening in what seems to me to be the final frontier - the grocery store. Our local supermarket keeps having clearance sales and not all of them are to clear the shelves for new product. Some are to sell out the remainders from companies whose products will no longer be represented. The shelves remain filled, in an effort to keep up the appearance of continued options. But fact is, we have less to choose from. My usual grocery store no longer carries the pancake mix we like best. And a recent trip for a national brand of peanut butter revealed that it too was gone. I'm used to hunting down rare items (like two-step angel food cake mix and mushroom steak sauce). Now, it appears I'll be hunting down formerly common items.
The Post Russia Trip me would smile smugly and deem the dwindling of choices a return to better proportion. The Frugal Shopper Momma me frowns and wonders how far it will go. And the Politically Unsavvy me begins to understand a little better one side of the debate over health care reform. Choice can be bad when it's an addiction and we can't handle the lack of it. But in general, I think consumers benefit from a variety of options.
And all the options we have, whether it be car insurance, radio stations, or milk, all stem from the free flow of commerce in a healthy capitalist society. At least that's my take on it (don't quote me, since I'm no economics guru). The thing is, I make this observation because I see the tide flowing the other way as our economy struggles. Our options are dwindling. I used to have four, five or maybe even more, furniture stores I could shop at when I wanted to buy something new for my home. Of those, at least two have closed down in recent years. Across all sectors of goods and services, more and more companies are closing their doors. With them go options.
I mention all of this because I see it happening in what seems to me to be the final frontier - the grocery store. Our local supermarket keeps having clearance sales and not all of them are to clear the shelves for new product. Some are to sell out the remainders from companies whose products will no longer be represented. The shelves remain filled, in an effort to keep up the appearance of continued options. But fact is, we have less to choose from. My usual grocery store no longer carries the pancake mix we like best. And a recent trip for a national brand of peanut butter revealed that it too was gone. I'm used to hunting down rare items (like two-step angel food cake mix and mushroom steak sauce). Now, it appears I'll be hunting down formerly common items.
The Post Russia Trip me would smile smugly and deem the dwindling of choices a return to better proportion. The Frugal Shopper Momma me frowns and wonders how far it will go. And the Politically Unsavvy me begins to understand a little better one side of the debate over health care reform. Choice can be bad when it's an addiction and we can't handle the lack of it. But in general, I think consumers benefit from a variety of options.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Too Many Tabs Open
My husband usually rolls his eyes, groans or in some other way, expresses his frustration at me whenever he uses the internet on my computer. "You have too many tabs open", he complains.
I glance over his shoulder to see what can be closed. Then I click on one or two tabs. He rolls his eyes again and I shrug my shoulders back. I can't help it that I'm never sure if I'm done with something. I wonder that if I close a tab, I might need it later and won't find it. Oh, I have a long list of bookmarks. But I rarely use them.
So is it a sign of my scattered mind that I leave all these tabs open? I actually keep a "to do" list and revel in checking things off as I complete them. And I try hard to end the week with everything done. "Try" being the operative word here. You see, I still leave unanswered emails and open tabs. I leave scrapbook supplies on the dining room table and notes on articles I'm writing on the desk. I have stacks of books I'm part way through on the bedside table and sewing projects midway to completion in the guest room closet.
No, I'm not disorganized or even necessarily messy. I have my "to do" lists to keep me from that. Most of those piles and stacks are only a week or two (at most a month) old. I just have more going at any one time than I can completely finish. Hence my plethora of tabs. All those tabs allow me a sense of control where I might feel out of control. As long as I can see it all there, I know I'll get to it sometime. Right?
I glance over his shoulder to see what can be closed. Then I click on one or two tabs. He rolls his eyes again and I shrug my shoulders back. I can't help it that I'm never sure if I'm done with something. I wonder that if I close a tab, I might need it later and won't find it. Oh, I have a long list of bookmarks. But I rarely use them.
So is it a sign of my scattered mind that I leave all these tabs open? I actually keep a "to do" list and revel in checking things off as I complete them. And I try hard to end the week with everything done. "Try" being the operative word here. You see, I still leave unanswered emails and open tabs. I leave scrapbook supplies on the dining room table and notes on articles I'm writing on the desk. I have stacks of books I'm part way through on the bedside table and sewing projects midway to completion in the guest room closet.
No, I'm not disorganized or even necessarily messy. I have my "to do" lists to keep me from that. Most of those piles and stacks are only a week or two (at most a month) old. I just have more going at any one time than I can completely finish. Hence my plethora of tabs. All those tabs allow me a sense of control where I might feel out of control. As long as I can see it all there, I know I'll get to it sometime. Right?
Friday, February 26, 2010
No Time For School
Three day weekend! My kids are off school today and I find myself wondering just when it is that they are at school any more. In the month of February (granted it's a short month), my kids only had one full week of school. Looks like it will be five days of school next week, but then only three the following, followed by another five day week. Then it's a four day week before Spring Break starts and we're off for a bunch of days.
It's really messing with my writing mojo. I can't get back into the rhythm of things with all these days off. My productivity is waaaay down for the month of February. I know, poor me. But here's the thing - if I'm not getting much done with all these days off, what about the kids? Well, they aren't getting as much done either. How do I know? My third grader came home last night bringing homework to do over the long weekend. And it's not the first time. The teacher openly admits that there is not enough time in these shortened weeks to get it all done. So she's had to resort to sending work home in order to keep pace with the district's expectations.
Here's the funny thing: just this morning I was surmising that I'd found the reason for all the homeschoolers getting ahead of our public school kids in their class work. They have the opportunity to spend more time on their schoolwork than my kids do. And my guess was confirmed. Some homeschool friends just arrived, so I asked them, did they do school today? And their answer? Yes, they've been particularly working on the days the public school is off, because they're planning to head south for a couple of weeks and need to get nine days ahead of public school (I should clarify that they're doing a bit of hybrid schooling where some subjects they do at the public school, but most at home). Aha! I was right!
If the excess of days off frustrates me, I can't imagine how working parents must feel. What do they do when the kids aren't in school on work days? Aye yi yi!
Here we are. Another three day weekend. My kids are playing. I'm not getting much done. How about you?
It's really messing with my writing mojo. I can't get back into the rhythm of things with all these days off. My productivity is waaaay down for the month of February. I know, poor me. But here's the thing - if I'm not getting much done with all these days off, what about the kids? Well, they aren't getting as much done either. How do I know? My third grader came home last night bringing homework to do over the long weekend. And it's not the first time. The teacher openly admits that there is not enough time in these shortened weeks to get it all done. So she's had to resort to sending work home in order to keep pace with the district's expectations.
Here's the funny thing: just this morning I was surmising that I'd found the reason for all the homeschoolers getting ahead of our public school kids in their class work. They have the opportunity to spend more time on their schoolwork than my kids do. And my guess was confirmed. Some homeschool friends just arrived, so I asked them, did they do school today? And their answer? Yes, they've been particularly working on the days the public school is off, because they're planning to head south for a couple of weeks and need to get nine days ahead of public school (I should clarify that they're doing a bit of hybrid schooling where some subjects they do at the public school, but most at home). Aha! I was right!
If the excess of days off frustrates me, I can't imagine how working parents must feel. What do they do when the kids aren't in school on work days? Aye yi yi!
Here we are. Another three day weekend. My kids are playing. I'm not getting much done. How about you?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Forgive Me For Being Less Than Perfect
I made a mistake today (big surprise, huh?). I got caught up being social and forgot a group of children who were waiting for me to come during their lunchtime to discuss a story with them. A friend pointed out that the children would have waited a little bit for me and then gone on to eat their lunch and enjoy recess. End of story for them.
When I realized my mistake, I quickly emailed the teachers and parents to apologize. Who knows what reaction I'll get from the parents. Most, I think will understand or at least accept my apologies. And any that might be annoyed by my mistake will get over it pretty quick. Already I've heard back from one of the moms indicating that she completely understands. No problem. Mistake forgiven on that count.
There's just one person that I know is definitely having a hard time being forgiving about this. She does it every time. Every little mistake I make she gets annoyed at - as if I'm not human and shouldn't ever make a mistake. She's angry. She's disappointed with me. She wants to exact payment of some sort for those poor kids. She's embarrassed. And she's not at all forgiving.
Who could be so hard-hearted toward a simple mistake? Me. I can't stand it when I make a mistake or a bad choice or lose my cool or do anything other than be perfect. Uh, yeah. Picture that. How often do you think I have to deal with the results of one of the above? Daily, sometimes hourly. And honestly I'm tired of this voice of perfection that can't handle even the slightest misstep. So I'm telling my perfectionist self one thing this afternoon: get. over. it. Everybody else will. And if my voice of perfection can't do that much, then well...it's not perfect either!
How about you? Do you hold yourself to an impossible standard, one that you'd never expect of anyone else? If not, how do you give yourself room to fail? I'm working on this one and would love to hear what you think.
When I realized my mistake, I quickly emailed the teachers and parents to apologize. Who knows what reaction I'll get from the parents. Most, I think will understand or at least accept my apologies. And any that might be annoyed by my mistake will get over it pretty quick. Already I've heard back from one of the moms indicating that she completely understands. No problem. Mistake forgiven on that count.
There's just one person that I know is definitely having a hard time being forgiving about this. She does it every time. Every little mistake I make she gets annoyed at - as if I'm not human and shouldn't ever make a mistake. She's angry. She's disappointed with me. She wants to exact payment of some sort for those poor kids. She's embarrassed. And she's not at all forgiving.
Who could be so hard-hearted toward a simple mistake? Me. I can't stand it when I make a mistake or a bad choice or lose my cool or do anything other than be perfect. Uh, yeah. Picture that. How often do you think I have to deal with the results of one of the above? Daily, sometimes hourly. And honestly I'm tired of this voice of perfection that can't handle even the slightest misstep. So I'm telling my perfectionist self one thing this afternoon: get. over. it. Everybody else will. And if my voice of perfection can't do that much, then well...it's not perfect either!
How about you? Do you hold yourself to an impossible standard, one that you'd never expect of anyone else? If not, how do you give yourself room to fail? I'm working on this one and would love to hear what you think.
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Reading Goals & Current Reading List
Last month, in keeping with New Year's, I set myself some goals for the year. I made goals for my writing and goals for my food consumption and goals related to personal fitness. And...I made some reading goals. I made it a goal to read one parenting book, one marriage book and one book on the writing craft each quarter. So far I'm on target with those goals. Admittedly, they aren't that aggressive. But that's the beauty of well set goals - they're realistic. So I expect to have the satisfaction of reaching those goals four times in the next 11 months. And with that, here's my list:
I could use some new ideas myself. So tell me this: what have you been reading lately? Or if you have reading goals of your own, feel free to share those too. I'd love to know.
- Stein on Writing - by Sol Stein. This editor and author has had a part in the works of some incredible writers. I am thoroughly enjoying this book, both for the practical advice and for the great examples he provides. I've been pulling it out to refer to during my writing time recently. Thankfully it's a copy I own so I can keep going back to it once I've finished reading it. I'm marking it up a lot too.
- Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining & Bad Attitudes...In You And Your Kids - by Scott Turansky & Joanne Miller. An excellent book with a horrible title. Instead it should be titled something like Parenting On The Honor System. It introduces the concept of honor as being central to changing the way your family relates to each other. And I can testify: it works. Since introducing the framework of honor to my family, I've seen my kids doing some really neat things for me and for each other (that could be a whole blog post of it's own). Plus I've be able to pinpoint some parenting tactics I've been using in error. If you're a parent and you haven't read this book - check it out now! It will be worth every minute of your time.
- The Spiritually Intimate Marriage - by Donald Harvey. Pulled this one off my bookshelf to give a more thorough reading. I've only gotten through one chapter, which tells me I need to put this closer to the top of my pile now. I like the topic it tackles, since it's one that's important but rarely addressed: how do you create a spiritual life together as a couple? I can't give a review yet and but maybe I'll do so later, although it's no longer in print.
- The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society - by Mary Anne Shaffer and Annie Barrows. I was very disappointed that I had to return this novel to the library before I could finish it. Guernsey Literary is about a British author (Juliet Ashton) who is looking for a new book idea during the post-war years. A letter from a farmer in on the island of Guernsey regarding a used book that once belonged to her, leads Juliet to begin correspondence with all the members of the literary society of the book's title. I won't give away any more. The delivery of the story through a series of letters might sound like a tricky concept. But the authors' voices are so unique and charming, that they absolutely pull you in. Actually, the voice, the time period and the setting all contribute to making this book an enchanting read. If you haven't read this book, I suggest you check it out. It makes for some very delightful reading - a great evening's companion.
I could use some new ideas myself. So tell me this: what have you been reading lately? Or if you have reading goals of your own, feel free to share those too. I'd love to know.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Introducing: Never Say Never
Today's featured book is a new novel by Lisa Wingate. I've been up late more than one night following the stories of Kai & Donetta in this enjoyable Texan saga.*
Paperback: 352 pgs
Publisher: Bethany House Release Date: Feb. 1, 2010
ISBN-10: 0764204920
ISBN-13: 978-0764204920
Retail: $12.95
About the Book:
Kai Miller floats through life like driftwood tossed by waves. She's never put down roots in any one place--and she doesn't plan to. But when a chaotic hurricane evacuation lands her in Daily, Texas, she begins to think twice about her wayfaring existence. And when she meets hometown-boy Kemp Eldridge, she can almost picture settling down in Daily--until she discovers he may be promised to someone else. Daily has always been a place of refuge for those the wind blows in, but for Kai, it looks like it will be just another place to leave behind. Then again, Daily always has a few surprises in store--especially when Aunt Donetta has cooked up a scheme.
Some Background information from the author about Never Say Never :
1. How did you develop the initial story idea/plot line for this book?
Some book ideas you search for, and some just blow in on the wind. For the past several years, dating back to Hurricane Katrina, we in Central Texas have been the recipients of massive hurricane evacuations. These massive exoduses of people, pets, and belongings are frightening, frustrating, challenging, and at times oddly wonderful. When so many are on the road seeking shelter, the worst, but also the best qualities of humanity come to the surface. Hurricane evacuations truly provide times when we ask the question, "Am I my brother’s keeper?" In answering that question, we’ve enjoyed amazing moments of friendship and fellowship, family reunions, and chances to share a food and space with strangers from other parts of the country. We’ve traded stories and recipies, laughter and tears.
One thing we’ve learned about hurricanes, living here, is that the paths are never predictable. Storms waver, hesitate, speed up, slow down, and sometimes change course unexpectedly. Evacuations needs can change and develop quickly. What better way for the beauty shop girls to find their inner strength and to show Daily hospitality, than for their cruise plans to land them smack in the middle of a sudden and chaotic hurricane evacuation?
2. Almost every author puts a little of themselves into their stories—what did you put of yourself into this one? (personality traits, life events/jobs, settings, characters based on people you know, likes/dislikes, etc.)
There’s a bit of me in the setting, of course. I love Texas, in all its variety of cultures and landscapes, but, living in a small town, I have a particular affection for little bergs like Daily, where the coffee’s always hot, and a good slide of pecan pie can cure most ills. Having watched our little town mobilize to take in hurricane evacuees several times now, I’ve been reminded that sometimes the worst things that can happen bring out the best in people. Given the opportunity and faced with the need, regular people can rise to the occasion in amazing ways, as do the citizens of Daily in the book.
Some members of the Wingate family might also claim to recognize themselves among the citizens of Daily, Texas. I would offer the disclaimer that any resemblances are completely unintentional, but that would be a bald-faced lie. When you come from a family of great storytellers and colorful characters, there’s nothing to do but make use of what you’ve got.
3. Did you encounter any interesting challenges while writing/researching for this book? Please explain if so.
The most difficult part of working on Never Say Never was researching and reliving the devastation left behind on the Texas gulf coast last year after Hurricane Ike. While interviewing family members about their experiences during the evacuation and return, we shared laughter and quite a few tears. For those who have lived in southeast Texas all their lives, talking about familiar landmarks, heirlooms, and old family places that were washed away forever, knowing some things will never be the same, is both difficult and devastating. For those of us who have so many memories of family gatherings and vacations there, it’s hard to believe we’ll never visit the old places again.
4. Why is this book/story relevant today?
Despite our best-laid plans, we all experience storms in life—whether those storms be of a weather-related nature, or due to an illness, death, or in recent months, job loss and financial misfortune. When the parameters of life and our ability to control fate suddenly change, we’re confronted with our own helplessness and need to rely on other people and God. In a culture that values independence and self-sufficiency, it’s important to remember that we all have a common need and a common responsibility for each other and that without faith we really are alone in the storm.
About the Author:
Lisa Wingate is a popular inspirational speaker, magazine columnist, and national bestselling author of several books, including Tending Roses, Talk of the Town, Drenched in Light, A Thousand Voices, and A Month of Summer. Her work was recently honored by the Americans for More Civility for promoting greater kindness and civility in American life. Lisa and her family live in central Texas.
A Month of Summer
Lisa Wingate’s
How to Talk Texan
Road Trip Tutorial
A couple dozen phrases that'll keep you from lookin' like you don't know gee from haw. You can hang your hat on it!
Hey, y’all!
If you’re planning a road trip across Texas, well, my friend, you’d better get your trottin’ harness on, I’ll tell you that right now.
This state’s wider than a woodcutter’s pile. You’ll be so busy here, you’ll think you’re twins. You might even meet yourself comin’ and goin’ or travel so fast you’ll catch up to yesterday.
One thing’s for sure--there won’t be any grass growin’ under your feet, especially if it’s summer, because it’ll be hot as a nanny goat in a pepper patch. Don’t let that trouble your mind, though.
Seeing the whole state might seem about as easy as tryin’ to saddle up house flies or put socks on the rooster, but here’re a few phrases that’ll make your trip just as smooth as a calf’s ear. You’ll find this little bit of Texan talk just as handy as a pocket on a shirt. With these phrases, you’ll be right at home in jig time, and happy as a pig in sunshine, I promise.
Folks’ll think you’re just as fine as frog hair split four ways. Why, you might even find yourself a Texas gal who’s cute as a bug’s ear or a fella who catches your eye like a tin roof at noonday. Even if you don’t find love here, you’ll run across lots of folks who’re so friendly, they’ll add a cup of water to the soup and tell you to get your sittin’ britches on.
Some of them might be full of wind as a corn-eatin’ horse, but you’ll be welcome ‘till whenever you figure it’s time to put the chairs in the wagon and turkey-tail it toward home.
When you do, we’ll keep a light on and a hitch out for ya, just in case you miss us like a west Texas farmer misses rain. You’re welcome to darken our door any old time. Long as we got a biscuit, my friend, you got half, and if that ain’t a fact, well, then I’m hip high to a horned toad.
Y’all come back now, y’hear!
--Lisa Wingate (and the REST of the folks in Daily, Texas, too!)
For stories with Texas flavor
and fun, come see us at www.Lisawingate.com
And announcing a special Blog Tour Drawing (one lucky commenter will be entered in a drawing for the following fantastic prize): Grandprize Drawing
Donetta and Imagene's Texas Road Trip Basket (approximate total value over $150)
Take a Texas road trip, without ever leaving home!
Featuring:
The Daily Texas Series by Lisa Wingate:
Featuring:
The Daily Texas Series by Lisa Wingate:
Talk Of the Town
Word Gets Around
Never Say Never
The Blue Sky Hills Series by Lisa Wingate:
The Blue Sky Hills Series by Lisa Wingate:
A Month of Summer
The Summer
Kitchen
Beyond Summer (a special advance copy not available in stores until July 2010)
Road Trip Snacks (Straight from Texas, of course!)
Wrap it all up with a fuzzy, fleecy Texas throw blanket for those cold nights on the road (or curled up with your books!)
Road Trip Snacks (Straight from Texas, of course!)
Wrap it all up with a fuzzy, fleecy Texas throw blanket for those cold nights on the road (or curled up with your books!)
*Kathy Carlton Willis Communications provided me (Amusing Mom) with a review copy of this book.
Monday, February 08, 2010
Celebrating the release of Thin Places
Today I'm glad to share with you about a new book by Mary DeMuth, called Thin Places. I've had the opportunity to meet Mary at a writer's conference and have benefited from her wisdom on writing and navigating the publishing industry through her blog, So You Want To Be Published. She's both an excellent writer and a delightful, authentic woman.
Mary has worked hard to earn her right to be heard, with more than a half-dozen books already to her credit. With this book she reveals some of the most difficult experiences in her life. She does so with taste and and huge amount of grace. The context in which she explores her past in this spiritual memoir lends a redemptive tone to both painful and ordinary experiences in her life. It's well worth a read.
Now that I've shared my brief thoughts on this book, let's hear from Mary about her journey to the publication of Thin Places:
What trials did you face as a child?
Childhood sexual abuse at five
Parents with addictions
Feelings of being unwanted
An unsafe home
Neglect
Death of a parent
Loneliness
Suicidal thoughts
Three divorces
It’s hard to write all that out and not feel bad for little me. But even in the recounting, I’ve been able to see the thin places in my life, those snatches of moments where God came near. That’s the message and hope of Thin Places, being able to see the nearness of God amidst heartache.
What compelled you to write Thin Places?
I felt sufficiently healed from my past, which had been a long, long journey. And in that healing, I knew I had the perspective I needed to be able to communicate my story with hope. In the past, I’d vomit my story of sexual abuse and neglect on any poor soul who’d listen, not with the intention to help her grow through her story, but to gain empathy.
But now I marvel at the path God’s brought me on, how gently He’s led me to this place of wholeness. From that abundance, I share my story. Why? Because I believe sharing the truth about our stories helps others see their own stories.
While I recorded the audio book for Thin Places, the producer asked me why I’d splay my life out this way.
“Because I don’t want folks to feel alone,” I told him.
“You’ve given a gift,” he said.
I sure hope so.
In this memoir you give readers a candid glimpse into your upbringing. Was it hard to share particular parts of your story?
In some ways, it was easy. I’ve shared my story over a decade now. What was hard was giving myself permission to say it all, to not hold back, to explore the emotions I experienced during the rapes, the drug parties, the feelings of loneliness.
Oddly, though, it was harder for me to share what I’m dealing with now as a result of my upbringing than the actual initial trauma. It’s hard to admit that I’m still so needy, so insecure. After reading the book aloud, I saw I still had areas of growth, particularly in being so hard on myself.
What do you hope readers gain from reading your memoir?
I hope they see hope.
I hope they realize how profound and surprising and radical God’s redemption is.
I hope they’ll see the irresistibility of Jesus.
Some folks wait until grandparents and parents are deceased until they write a memoir, but you wrote yours with some still alive. Was that difficult?
Extremely. In many ways, agonizing. You can be assured that I prayed through every word. I’m thankful for my critique group who walked me through the writing and my stellar editor who helped shape the manuscript into a redemptive story. My goal was not to impugn or point the finger at what went wrong way back when, but to shout about God’s ability to transform a needy, incomplete girl.
It’s never easy to tell the truth, and I know my words may hurt some. But, thankfully, I’ve sought God’s heart in this and I can rest peacefully in knowing that.
Anne Lamott says, “Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer, you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act—truth is always subversive.”
Thin Places is my answer to her quote.
But why go there? Why examine the past? Hasn’t the old passed away?
Yes, of course we must move forward. We must move beyond our pasts. But in order to do that, we must mourn the reality of what happened, not bury it under a rug. I love what Sam says in The Two Towers movie about the importance of telling our stories, no matter how dark: “It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you.”
It’s my sincere hope that my story will stay with readers, not because of its sordidness, but because the Light of Jesus has shined so brightly upon it.
What encouragement or cautions do you have for those wanting to write their story?
First, prayerfully consider if this is something you need to do for therapy rather than publication. It’s very exposing to write a memoir. And sometimes we mistake the compelling feeling we have with publication. God sometimes calls us to write unpublished words, to get everything out on the page for the sake of our own personal healing.
Many of you have read memoirs that are self-indulgent or a poor-me fest. You need to evaluate whether you’re at a good place of healing before you embark on writing your story for everyone to read.
Do you worry that writing a memoir makes you out to be narcissistic?
Of course. Because I’m the main character! As I’ve edited, read and re-read the book, I’ve agonized over that. Now that the book’s released, I am resting. What’s done is done. And I honestly believe that the story isn’t about me. It’s about a rejuvenating God who stooped to rescue a needy, frail girl.
What fears have you battled as this book released?
Because this is such a personal book, I’ve worried about negative reviews. In some ways that’s good because it will force me to find my security and love from the One who made me, rather than the opinions of others. I’ve received some great endorsements, but also some harsh reviews. And those are the ones that knife me! Because the book’s about me!
I worry that I’ll be misunderstood. Or that telling the truth will hurt others. I’ve made a point to disguise nearly everyone and everything in the book, but of course the potential for hurt feelings is high.
I fear opposition by the father of lies. Since this is a truth-filled book, displaying authentic struggle, I have a feeling he won’t like it. I’m thankful for a specific, targeted prayer team around me to pray for protection regarding the release of this book. It’s humbling, actually, to see how God brought those pray-ers together.
Author and speaker Mary DeMuth helps people turn their trials to triumph. Her books include Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God; Building the Christian Family You Never Had; Watching the Tree Limbs; Wishing on Dandelions; Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture and the first two books in the Defiance, Texas Trilogy: Daisy Chain and A Slow Burn.
National media regularly seek Mary’s candid ability to connect with their listeners. Her radio appearances include FamilyLife Today, Moody Midday Connection, Point of View and U.S.A. Radio Network and is frequently featured on Chuck Colson’s BreakPoint. She has published articles in In Touch, HomeLife, Writer’s Digest and The Writer.
Mary lives with her husband Patrick and their three children in Texas.
Learn more about Mary at http://marydemuth.com. And please, please check out her new book, Thin Places on Amazon.
To read more posts about Thin Places, check out the Thin Places Blog Tour.
Sunday, February 07, 2010
It's Book Week Time Again
It's Book Week time again! This week I'll be introducing you to two new books - one on Monday and one on Wednesday. Then on Friday I'll be sharing my current reading list, along with some goals I've set for reading this year.
So check back in the coming days. In the meantime, what have you been reading lately? Any good books to recommend?
So check back in the coming days. In the meantime, what have you been reading lately? Any good books to recommend?
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Thoughts on Facebook "Friendships"
I'm beginning to wonder about whether Facebook is actually good for some friendships. It is getting more and more hype these days, particularly for it's ability to reconnect people. But what isn't touted are all the other activities that one can engage in on Facebook that can actually harm a friendship. I'm serious here.
Take the whole "becoming a fan" thing. Just the other day one of my Facebook friends joined a group called "I Hate ___". Except what they were hating is actually something I genuinely appreciate and respect. Then today that same friend loudly proclaimed a political leaning that I'm strongly against. I'm beginning to question whether I want to continue to be friends with them on Facebook and deal with the ongoing passive attacks on my beliefs.
Without Facebook, my chances of being in contact with this person were incredibly slim. And I'd forgotten her outspokeness and political leanings. I actually had fond memories of this friend. Now with all of the silly opportunities to proclaim you're likes and dislikes on Facebook, I've lost a lot of respect for this friend. And I've started getting angry reading about her FB activities. It's made me consider searching for groups to join that proclaim my stance in opposition to her. But it's not worth it and I'd rather not be reactionary.
So for now, I think I might just "hide" her. And I'll definitely think twice before "becoming a fan" of something - not because I'm afraid of offending my friends, but just because maybe my FB friends don't need me to parade my beliefs in front of them.
Oh, and if you're someone who hates Louisiana Hot Sauce? Sorry, bout that, but I became a "fan" today. Supposedly it will get me a free bottle if New Orleans wins in the Super Bowl tomorrow.
Take the whole "becoming a fan" thing. Just the other day one of my Facebook friends joined a group called "I Hate ___". Except what they were hating is actually something I genuinely appreciate and respect. Then today that same friend loudly proclaimed a political leaning that I'm strongly against. I'm beginning to question whether I want to continue to be friends with them on Facebook and deal with the ongoing passive attacks on my beliefs.
Without Facebook, my chances of being in contact with this person were incredibly slim. And I'd forgotten her outspokeness and political leanings. I actually had fond memories of this friend. Now with all of the silly opportunities to proclaim you're likes and dislikes on Facebook, I've lost a lot of respect for this friend. And I've started getting angry reading about her FB activities. It's made me consider searching for groups to join that proclaim my stance in opposition to her. But it's not worth it and I'd rather not be reactionary.
So for now, I think I might just "hide" her. And I'll definitely think twice before "becoming a fan" of something - not because I'm afraid of offending my friends, but just because maybe my FB friends don't need me to parade my beliefs in front of them.
Oh, and if you're someone who hates Louisiana Hot Sauce? Sorry, bout that, but I became a "fan" today. Supposedly it will get me a free bottle if New Orleans wins in the Super Bowl tomorrow.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
But If You Try Sometimes
you just might find...you get what you had been hoping for all along.
This past weekend I took my husband away for a night in Chicago. It's not something we've ever done before and (for economic reasons) we're not likely to do it again real soon. It started a few months ago when I spotted a really good rate at a hotel on Michigan Avenue. With a little planning, it turned into a great night on the town.
First off - the hotel. Can I tell you how convenient it was to have a room at a hotel right next door to the John Hancock building and within walking distance of theatres and shops and restaurants? I lost count of the number of times we went out to one place and then returned to the hotel for something and then headed back out again. It was that easy and honestly, that fun. Before dinner we went out to the theatre to pick up tickets (which weren't in yet, but oh well). Then we went back briefly to the hotel before wandering around the shops in Water Tower Place. Then it was off to dinner and a stop in at the hotel before going to the play (Icarus at Lookingglass Theatre - a very somber show, but well done by a very versatile and creative group).
My favorite part of our evening out was stopping at The Cheesecake Factory in the bottom floor of the Hancock building. Neither of us had been to The Cheesecake Factory before, anywhere. What an amazing place. With all the curved walls, copper moldings, and flower-shaped furnishings, it felt like we'd stepped into something from Alice in Wonderland. And yet it had a very cosmopolitan feel to it too. Perfect for dessert out during a night on the town.
Other items of note: our table at dinner had a tablecloth and china and wine glasses. Oh, and linen napkins. The bald waiter managed to be appropriately attentive and funny. The noise level in the dining area was suitably low (except for the older couple in the booth behind me, who were delightfully interesting in their choice of loud dinner conversation topics). And contrary to my usual tendency of choosing something bland and uninteresting off the menu (while AmusingDad gets the spicy dish), I selected a New Zealand seafood stew that absolutely did not disappoint. Then again, I think that the initial choice in restaurants had more to do with the quality of food than in the particular choice of dish itself. I'm guessing almost anything off the menu would have been superb.
So finally (FINALLY!) I got to have the night out I'd been wanting. I think AmusingDad enjoyed it too. Although earlier that day he'd been pining for a buck-fifty Polish sausage at Costco. His reaction to the steak at dinner was only lukewarm in comparison. But he assures me he could have gotten just as excited about the steak if it had been a buck-fifty.
This past weekend I took my husband away for a night in Chicago. It's not something we've ever done before and (for economic reasons) we're not likely to do it again real soon. It started a few months ago when I spotted a really good rate at a hotel on Michigan Avenue. With a little planning, it turned into a great night on the town.
First off - the hotel. Can I tell you how convenient it was to have a room at a hotel right next door to the John Hancock building and within walking distance of theatres and shops and restaurants? I lost count of the number of times we went out to one place and then returned to the hotel for something and then headed back out again. It was that easy and honestly, that fun. Before dinner we went out to the theatre to pick up tickets (which weren't in yet, but oh well). Then we went back briefly to the hotel before wandering around the shops in Water Tower Place. Then it was off to dinner and a stop in at the hotel before going to the play (Icarus at Lookingglass Theatre - a very somber show, but well done by a very versatile and creative group).
My favorite part of our evening out was stopping at The Cheesecake Factory in the bottom floor of the Hancock building. Neither of us had been to The Cheesecake Factory before, anywhere. What an amazing place. With all the curved walls, copper moldings, and flower-shaped furnishings, it felt like we'd stepped into something from Alice in Wonderland. And yet it had a very cosmopolitan feel to it too. Perfect for dessert out during a night on the town.
Other items of note: our table at dinner had a tablecloth and china and wine glasses. Oh, and linen napkins. The bald waiter managed to be appropriately attentive and funny. The noise level in the dining area was suitably low (except for the older couple in the booth behind me, who were delightfully interesting in their choice of loud dinner conversation topics). And contrary to my usual tendency of choosing something bland and uninteresting off the menu (while AmusingDad gets the spicy dish), I selected a New Zealand seafood stew that absolutely did not disappoint. Then again, I think that the initial choice in restaurants had more to do with the quality of food than in the particular choice of dish itself. I'm guessing almost anything off the menu would have been superb.
So finally (FINALLY!) I got to have the night out I'd been wanting. I think AmusingDad enjoyed it too. Although earlier that day he'd been pining for a buck-fifty Polish sausage at Costco. His reaction to the steak at dinner was only lukewarm in comparison. But he assures me he could have gotten just as excited about the steak if it had been a buck-fifty.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Sets My Teeth on Edge
It's only a small thing - the fact that every toothbrush we've gotten over the past 5 years hasn't fit into the toothbrush holder in my children's bathroom. But it's enough to set my teeth on edge. Why, oh why, can't the manufacturers cooperate on this? If the toothbrush makers are going to insist on making only wide, ergonomic handles for their brushes, then why can't the people producing the holders work on widening the openings?
Like I say, it's a small thing. But it makes a difference in our home. Now the kids' bathroom counter is constantly littered with toothbrushes, and consequently, sticky globs of toothpaste residue. Not to mention the extra sharing of germs that occurs due to the scattering of brushes.
In our bathroom we resolved the issue by jamming the handles into the holder. Our toothbrushes stand up extra tall and not so straight. In fact, they sorta lean. But they're off the counter.
Let this be a warning, dear shopper. If you're the in market for a new toothbrush holder, make sure it has extra wide openings for the new-fangled toothbrush handles out there. You might even want to take a whopper toothbrush with you, if you have one on hand. It's not always easy to tell if they'll fit just by looking.
Or maybe we should all just talk to our dentist and ask if he could (pretty please) go back to simple toothbrushes with slim handles.
Oh wait, what's this? My children went to the dentist this past week and they came back with...could it be?!...straight handled toothbrushes?!! Oh, happy day! (But I'm still getting the bigger slotted holder next time I have to buy one. You never know when the dentist is going to go all fancy on the toothbrushes again.)
Like I say, it's a small thing. But it makes a difference in our home. Now the kids' bathroom counter is constantly littered with toothbrushes, and consequently, sticky globs of toothpaste residue. Not to mention the extra sharing of germs that occurs due to the scattering of brushes.
In our bathroom we resolved the issue by jamming the handles into the holder. Our toothbrushes stand up extra tall and not so straight. In fact, they sorta lean. But they're off the counter.
Let this be a warning, dear shopper. If you're the in market for a new toothbrush holder, make sure it has extra wide openings for the new-fangled toothbrush handles out there. You might even want to take a whopper toothbrush with you, if you have one on hand. It's not always easy to tell if they'll fit just by looking.
Or maybe we should all just talk to our dentist and ask if he could (pretty please) go back to simple toothbrushes with slim handles.
Oh wait, what's this? My children went to the dentist this past week and they came back with...could it be?!...straight handled toothbrushes?!! Oh, happy day! (But I'm still getting the bigger slotted holder next time I have to buy one. You never know when the dentist is going to go all fancy on the toothbrushes again.)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Life Can Be Rough
His eyes were rimmed red and he barely looked up as he spoke. I listened as another hot lunch mom asked the distressed fourth-grader to repeat what lunch he had ordered. The other students at the lunch table chatted and ate, moving clumsily in their bulky winter coats and snowpants. Beside them, the teary-eyed boy looked thin in his striped shirt and jeans. He burst into a fresh flow of tears as the other mom hurried off to find his missing lunch order.
"We'll get your lunch real quick," I said, stooping down to reassure the boy.
"It's not about my lunch!" he retorted. "I'm not crying about that. It's...it's everything!" And then he launched into a litany of missteps and injustices that had seemed to follow him that day, among them that he'd been sentenced to staying inside for recess. This explained his clothes, and more importantly, his tears.
I listened until he was done pouring out his story. "The day is already halfway through. It will get better," I promised.
He began crying again. "But it won't get better! After lunch I have math, and I hate math!"
He sat with his back to the table, his shoulders hunched in defeat. I gave him a small pat on the back and a few more words of reassurance, before moving on to continue helping to serve lunch.
A short while later I went to stand against the wall by the cafeteria door to eat my own lunch while chatting with another mom. I glanced over at the boy. He still sat with his back to the table. He wasn't smiling. But his pizza bagel and tears were gone. A few moments later the lunch monitors began directing the children to clean up. I threw out my napkin and went over to the boy.
"I hope your day does get better," I said to him, giving him another quick pat on the back.
He gave me a glance and a half smile and stood to join the line of children leaving the cafeteria.
Life can be rough, even when you're in fourth grade. I sure hope he goes home to a mom who gives him a big hug and a listening ear.
And when my kids get home, I'll be waiting to do the same.
"We'll get your lunch real quick," I said, stooping down to reassure the boy.
"It's not about my lunch!" he retorted. "I'm not crying about that. It's...it's everything!" And then he launched into a litany of missteps and injustices that had seemed to follow him that day, among them that he'd been sentenced to staying inside for recess. This explained his clothes, and more importantly, his tears.
I listened until he was done pouring out his story. "The day is already halfway through. It will get better," I promised.
He began crying again. "But it won't get better! After lunch I have math, and I hate math!"
He sat with his back to the table, his shoulders hunched in defeat. I gave him a small pat on the back and a few more words of reassurance, before moving on to continue helping to serve lunch.
A short while later I went to stand against the wall by the cafeteria door to eat my own lunch while chatting with another mom. I glanced over at the boy. He still sat with his back to the table. He wasn't smiling. But his pizza bagel and tears were gone. A few moments later the lunch monitors began directing the children to clean up. I threw out my napkin and went over to the boy.
"I hope your day does get better," I said to him, giving him another quick pat on the back.
He gave me a glance and a half smile and stood to join the line of children leaving the cafeteria.
Life can be rough, even when you're in fourth grade. I sure hope he goes home to a mom who gives him a big hug and a listening ear.
And when my kids get home, I'll be waiting to do the same.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Taking Matters Into Her Own Hands
Poor Uber-Princess. Seems her social life isn't what she's been hoping for. At school she enjoys hanging out with her friends and will often talk about plans to play later. Her homebody mom tries to accommodate this as best she can and generally arranges at least one playdate each week. But that's too slow for the Uber-Princess. Recently she's begun taking matters into her own hands.
Over Christmas break we called one school friend to invite her to play. There was no answer, so we left a message. We never heard back. I reassured her that the friend was probably away on vacation (she was) and we could set something up after school started again. The Uber-Princess, knowing the slowpoke her mom can be about these things, took care of things straight away on Monday morning. She wrote her phone number on the back of her friend's paper and urged the friend to have her mother call to set up that playdate.
A few days later the phone rang. The number had been passed on. We moms conferred and set up a playdate for next week. The Uber-Princess's actions set things in motion far faster than if she'd waited on the grownups to get their acts together.
She has also recently been talking about one boy in her class with whom she plays a lot in school. They have hit it off well and both agree that this warrants some after school play time as well. Each day she comes home and talks about this little boy and what they could play if he came over (to our mega-girly home). I've been thinking I'd chat with the boy's mom about it the next time I saw her. Which was today. Apparently the Uber-Princess beat me to it. The boy's mom volunteered with their class in the library yesterday and the Uber-Princess took the opportunity to approach the mom about the possibility of a playdate.
*Sigh.* I can barely imagine what the teen years will be like with this one. If she has her way it will probably be a string of endless social activity. The Uber-Princess is one that likes to keep her dance card full. Question is: can her mother keep up?
Over Christmas break we called one school friend to invite her to play. There was no answer, so we left a message. We never heard back. I reassured her that the friend was probably away on vacation (she was) and we could set something up after school started again. The Uber-Princess, knowing the slowpoke her mom can be about these things, took care of things straight away on Monday morning. She wrote her phone number on the back of her friend's paper and urged the friend to have her mother call to set up that playdate.
A few days later the phone rang. The number had been passed on. We moms conferred and set up a playdate for next week. The Uber-Princess's actions set things in motion far faster than if she'd waited on the grownups to get their acts together.
She has also recently been talking about one boy in her class with whom she plays a lot in school. They have hit it off well and both agree that this warrants some after school play time as well. Each day she comes home and talks about this little boy and what they could play if he came over (to our mega-girly home). I've been thinking I'd chat with the boy's mom about it the next time I saw her. Which was today. Apparently the Uber-Princess beat me to it. The boy's mom volunteered with their class in the library yesterday and the Uber-Princess took the opportunity to approach the mom about the possibility of a playdate.
*Sigh.* I can barely imagine what the teen years will be like with this one. If she has her way it will probably be a string of endless social activity. The Uber-Princess is one that likes to keep her dance card full. Question is: can her mother keep up?
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