Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Supermarket Survivor

I think I was filmed today for a new reality TV show. Only a guy didn't suddenly appear with a microphone and cameraman to tell me they'd caught me on film. But maybe they're saving that for a future episode.

It's called "Supermarket Survivor" or "Rage Among the Radishes". You see, the grocery store sets it up by placing these incredibly frustrating plastic bags in their produce section. Then you (or me), the unsuspecting shopper go to actually use one of these plastic bags to carry your produce. You select your bell pepper (or squash or mango or jalapeno). Then you innocently grab a plastic bag that supposedly was placed on a roll near the produce for your convenience. That's when they get you. You see, those bags are part of the reality show. They are formulated with a special glue that does not allow to the bag to come open until, in utter exasperation, you rub it rapidly between your hands. The friction produces a glue-melting heat. Then the end of the bag separates, slightly. If you managed to rub the right end. If you even found the end.

I was standing next to a gentleman in produce today as we both shook and raged at the plastic produce bags. I glanced at him. Then I glanced up and noticed a tv monitor. We weren't on it. But maybe there was a camera hidden behind it. I suggested something like that to him, like maybe we were going to be on this new reality show. He laughed a short laugh, got his bag open and hurriedly stuffed his pepper in the bag while scooting his cart away from me. I flipped my bag over and wrestled it some more. Finally the ends parted. I don't think I won.

Anyway, if they weren't taping me for a reality show I think I'll send my idea to the networks. There's a lot of frustration to be tapped into among the rutabagas, at least when I'm there.

4 musings:

L.L. Barkat said...

Too funny!!! I think you could publish this little piece elsewhere too (traditional print).

That said, I suddenly realized I don't need those little plastic bags. That's what a produce drawer is for. Most veggies are just as happy out of a bag. And I don't have to wrestle in the rutabagas. (And the world is safe from one more not-really-disposable item!)

Craver VII said...

That rutabaga segment is a big hit on "You Tube." Was that you??? It's a classic even watching the Japanese-dubbed version.

I'm picturing a Fruit-of-the Spirit sweatshirt with quiet muzak in the background while your facial expressions rival Jim Carey's. Ha!! Good times.

A Musing Mom said...

LL-Thanks for another "well, duh!" moment. I'm joining you in giving up plastic produce bags (although I can already picture the apples rolling around in my cart). As for other print media, I love the idea. It goes on my list of things to (attempt to)get published this year.
Craver -You mean it wasn't an ABC crew behind that camera? Now my hopes for reality TV stardom are completely dashed. Guess I'll stick to playing Polly Pockets with my uber-princess.

Ribbon Rock Star said...

That was cute.