Supermarket Survivor

I think I was filmed today for a new reality TV show. Only a guy didn't suddenly appear with a microphone and cameraman to tell me they'd caught me on film. But maybe they're saving that for a future episode.

It's called "Supermarket Survivor" or "Rage Among the Radishes". You see, the grocery store sets it up by placing these incredibly frustrating plastic bags in their produce section. Then you (or me), the unsuspecting shopper go to actually use one of these plastic bags to carry your produce. You select your bell pepper (or squash or mango or jalapeno). Then you innocently grab a plastic bag that supposedly was placed on a roll near the produce for your convenience. That's when they get you. You see, those bags are part of the reality show. They are formulated with a special glue that does not allow to the bag to come open until, in utter exasperation, you rub it rapidly between your hands. The friction produces a glue-melting heat. Then the end of the bag separates, slightly. If you managed to rub the right end. If you even found the end.

I was standing next to a gentleman in produce today as we both shook and raged at the plastic produce bags. I glanced at him. Then I glanced up and noticed a tv monitor. We weren't on it. But maybe there was a camera hidden behind it. I suggested something like that to him, like maybe we were going to be on this new reality show. He laughed a short laugh, got his bag open and hurriedly stuffed his pepper in the bag while scooting his cart away from me. I flipped my bag over and wrestled it some more. Finally the ends parted. I don't think I won.

Anyway, if they weren't taping me for a reality show I think I'll send my idea to the networks. There's a lot of frustration to be tapped into among the rutabagas, at least when I'm there.