I'm in Business

officially speaking. In another small step on the long journey to launching my book, I drove to the county clerk's office today, paid my five dollars and set up my freelance writing & publishing business.

It was one of those milestones in life that arrive without fanfare. It was mildly reminiscent of the day I walked into that same clerk's office to get a marriage license. That day I was accompanied not by my three-year-old daughter, but by the love of my life. I was awed by the process. As we submitted forms with our place of birth and date and place of marriage, I remarked to future Musing Dad that we were creating geneaological records. Someday long after that, once we'd been personally forgotten, maybe someone would look at those papers and recall the marriage of these two people from whom generations had been descended.

It wasn't as starry-eyed an experience this time of course. The uber-princess let out periodic squeals as she played her GameBoy while leaning against my leg. The clerk had to reinput the data a couple of times. And I got a paper filled with legalese on my next steps to getting my business certificate.

But as I drove home I dreamed of what the future could be for my business. Someday I might be selling hundreds of books while traveling around giving talks. I'd have a healthy portfolio of corporate clients. I'd be a regular contributor to a magazine or two. I'd be getting my kids off to school and going into my home office to work on writing my novel until they arrived home at the end of the day.

And then I pulled my car in the drive, helped the uber-princess into the house and shelved the official business forms so I could move the laundry into the dryer.

Lenten Memory Challenge

When was the last time you memorized something? High school? College? You can't remember?

I'm continually working on memorizing something. It's usually a chapter of the bible. This school year I'm working on Deuteronomy 6. I'm on verse 22 now actually. If you want to test me on this and you know me personally, go ahead, ask. If you can stand to listen that long, I'll recite the first twenty-one verses for you.

Now, it's not that I'm a "super-Christian" or Bible geek. I just happen to have connected with a good system for doing this. The mom's group I'm in has a "Scripture Memory Challenge". Every month during our season calendar (October through May) we have a chance to recite from one of two chapters of the bible. For every three verses we say correctly, we get to fill out a ticket for a drawing. And every month a name is drawn and the winner gets to choose a free book off the book table.

There are a couple of good things about this that make it work so well:

1. accountability: I know every month when I go to the meeting I have an opportunity to recite (or not).
2. long-term repetition: any one can memorize a short piece for a short time. But repeating the same thing over 8 months time puts it in to long term memory. I can still recite large parts of James 1 and it's been over a year and a half since I finished working on it.
3. goal incentive: that possibility of a free book is a major enticement for me. It keeps me going beyond learning just an extra verse or two each month to at least three.

By the way, it's no mistake that it's the Bible I'm memorizing and not Robert Frost's poetry or some other literature. I stand to gain far more than a free book. I'm setting myself up for better living.

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
Psalm 119:9-11

Haven't figured out yet what you want to do for Lent? How about a 40-day memory challenge? Try to work those three points into your plan: find someone to ask you how it's going; work on a short passage, adding a verse every couple of days and do so for the whole 40 days (or however much is left now); and finally, plan an Easter reward for yourself for completely memorizing what you've chosen.

Are you with me? I'm still working on Deut. 6, but by Easter I plan to be to the end of the chapter and maybe on to Ephesians 5. Need suggestions for what to work on? Just ask. Let me know too if you're taking my challenge.

Smallness of Scale Meets the Toy Closet

I have a very busy three-year-old. She's always on the move. I give her something to play with and instruct her where to play. And she'll do that, for about thirty seconds or however long it takes me to turn my back to do something else. Then she's off for somewhere else, dragging toys with her. After only a half hour there can be scads of toys all around the house: Polly Pockets in the living room, Build-a-Bears in the den, puzzles in the kitchen and my daughter nowhere to be seen.

Once I track her down it's a major process to get it all put away. But we do and I go back to "here is your toy for now, play here". And she quietly resumes playing in the specified area. Then quietly she creeps away again, dribbling toys behind her like a little Gretel. I follow the childhood ephemera to her new location. And we go through the cleanup again.

I struggled with how to solve this for a few days. First I'd warn her that whatever toys were left unattended would be confiscated. But then my bedroom began to look like a Toys'RUs. Not a good solution. Finally I realized that a big source of the problem was the large amount of toys she has access to.


My daughter has too many choices in the area of toys. And so she chooses many, not just a few. To her the toy closet represents an all-you-can-eat buffet and she's ready to gorge. And the consequences stretch beyond just messes in the house to her ability to focus and her ability to accept boundaries, among other things. We're beginning to make changes.

I can't donate or sell all the excess toys. My husband doesn't care for that. He's good at re-purposing items which means they need to be kept "just in case". Plus in the toy arena there are a lot of hand-me-downs from the uber-princess's older sisters that she has yet to grow into or grow out of. But there's still way to much for any three-year-old to play with.

So I gutted the closet. The excess is still in the guest room, looking for a new home away from little hands. It's a work in progress to be sure, but the first reaction from her timid roommate sister was "that looks great, Mom!". Toys that had been neglected in the chaos are being re-found. The mess is...well, it still manages to spread across the house in the uber-princess's wake. But we're getting there. I may need to think even smaller scale.

P.S. Happy Birthday to my mother-in-law!

February Pampering

Whew! I was glad to see this month's pampering stuff finally get done. I've had clipboards in various stages on my dining room table for at least a month now. Plus 5 of us made 500 notecards. And then there's the 110 beaded pens, and 12 altered clipboards. That was a lot of work! I wouldn't recommend doing so much work, but it certainly turned out looking good. Here are instructions for our "Retro-Chic Office" theme.


Retro-Chic Desk Set
one altered clipboard (see instructions on Nov. 8th post)
one faux leather "in-box"
one plastic magnetic clip holder
one beaded pen (see instructions below)
set of four notecards (see instructions below)

Organize all of the desk items in the center of the table. We stacked the clipboard on the in-box and then placed the clip holder next to the clipboard and the pen and notecards on top of the clipboard (see photo above).


Retro-Chic Correspondence Set
micro "seed" beads
red-liner tape (we used ProvoCraft's Terrifically Tacky Tape)
stick pen
glitter
embossing tool
patterned paper
die-cuts
note cards and envelopes
glue

To create the beaded pen: wrap the red tape around the end of the pen (or you can continue wrapping down the length of the pen to bead it entirely). Remove the outer wrap on the tape and heat both the tape and beads with the embossing tool (take care that you don't melt the pen). Roll taped end of pen in beads, pressing beads in place and manually adding more beads to empty spaces. Dip beaded end of pen into glitter (we used red and black beads and then dipped in red glitter). Tap off excess. Allow to set up overnight before transporting.

To create note cards: Cut squares of paper to fit front of note card (1/4" smaller than note card front). Glue paper onto fronts of some cards. Punch out die cuts and glue to fronts of other cards - we used large retro fabric flower die cuts on some cards and pairs of retro fabric button die cuts on others. We also used flower punches of the patterned paper with brads in the center and on some cards we glued tiny real buttons with the die cut buttons. Be creative (and efficient if you're making 500). We tied sets of four note cards together with ribbon and tucked the pens under the ribbon on top of the note cards.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

I realize the day is almost over already. We got in at dinnertime from an overnight at a waterpark hotel. But I don't want to miss the opportunity to wish my mom a Happy Birthday here in the blogosphere (I did tell her in person this afternoon).

Here's one of my favorite stories about my mom:
Many years back, before ceiling fans became ubiquitous in most homes, my parents decided they wanted to buy one for the kitchen. They'd been out shopping, but my mom got stuck on the issue of how many blades the fan should have: four or five. Then at church she happened to notice the fans spinning overhead. They looked nice, but how many blades did they have? She stared and stared, trying to count the moving blades. Finally she turned to my sister (who had to have been about nine at the time). "How many blades are on the fans?", she whispered. My sister looked up and quickly answered, "five". Mom was shocked at her speedy answer. "How do you know that?" she asked. "Just blink real fast when you're looking at them," my sister answered. Mom tried it and it worked. She wondered if my then seven-year-old brother knew the same trick, so she asked him the question too. "How many blades are on the fans?". My brother responded even more rapidly, "five". This blew Mom away. "How did you know that?", she asked again. My brother pointed toward the back of the church and whispered, "because that one's turned off".

Thanks for making us laugh, Mom! We love you! And you know what? The mother's curse worked on me. I'm always doing the same kinds of things to make my husband and kids laugh too. Hope you had a wonderful day!

No More Pizzas. Only Noodles.

Public schools are getting more boring all the time. First it was no treats with nuts sent for special occasions. This is understandable. And only store bought, packaged treats, not homemade in case the psycho mom had thoughts of poisoning her child's class. Next it was no nut products in individual kids' lunches (what?! No peanut butter? The staple of a grade schoolers lunch?? I called them about it, after all, my daughter needs to eat. They relented since the kids with allergies sit at a separate table).

Then this year they started cracking down on sweets. No candy or any other food treat is to be sent to school for Valentine's Day or other holidays. Gotta take measures to prevent obesity! Thankfully the room moms are still allowed to coordinate treats for the whole class for parties. It's just that kids can't bring any in addition to those, which is fine by me. I'm waiting though. Pretty soon the party treats will go from being cupcakes or donuts to apples or something healthy. In my mind, that kind of negates the concept of "party" and "treat". Obviously you don't want your kids eating those kinds of things every day. But on a special occasion?? Isn't that why it's called a "treat"?

But that's not all. There's even more. Yesterday my daughter came home to reveal the change that broke the proverbial camel's back for this mom. She told me, "My very educated mother just served us noodles." NOODLES??? Who wants noodles? When I was a kid "My very educated mother just served us NINE PIZZAS."! These scientists have taken things too far! Why can't my kids have nine pizzas, even if they're "dwarf" pizzas? Why do they have to be served noodles? Any thoughts?

February Pampering

Whew! I was glad to see this month's pampering stuff finally get done. I've had clipboards in various stages on my dining room table for at least a month now. Plus 5 of us made 500 notecards. And then there's the 110 beaded pens, and 12 altered clipboards. That was a lot of work! I wouldn't recommend doing so much work, but it certainly turned out looking good. Here are instructions for our "Retro-Chic Office" theme.


Retro-Chic Desk Set
one altered clipboard (see instructions on Nov. 8th post)
one faux leather "in-box"
one plastic magnetic clip holder
one beaded pen (see instructions below)
set of four notecards (see instructions below)

Organize all of the desk items in the center of the table. We stacked the clipboard on the in-box and then placed the clip holder next to the clipboard and the pen and notecards on top of the clipboard (see photo above).


Retro-Chic Correspondence Set
micro "seed" beads
red-liner tape (we used ProvoCraft's Terrifically Tacky Tape)
stick pen
glitter
embossing tool
patterned paper
die-cuts
note cards and envelopes
glue

To create the beaded pen: wrap the red tape around the end of the pen (or you can continue wrapping down the length of the pen to bead it entirely). Remove the outer wrap on the tape and heat both the tape and beads with the embossing tool (take care that you don't melt the pen). Roll taped end of pen in beads, pressing beads in place and manually adding more beads to empty spaces. Dip beaded end of pen into glitter (we used red and black beads and then dipped in red glitter). Tap off excess. Allow to set up overnight before transporting.

To create note cards: Cut squares of paper to fit front of note card (1/4" smaller than note card front). Glue paper onto fronts of some cards. Punch out die cuts and glue to fronts of other cards - we used large retro fabric flower die cuts on some cards and pairs of retro fabric button die cuts on others. We also used flower punches of the patterned paper with brads in the center and on some cards we glued tiny real buttons with the die cut buttons. Be creative (and efficient if you're making 500). We tied sets of four note cards together with ribbon and tucked the pens under the ribbon on top of the note cards.

For more ideas like these and other information on creating inexpensive gifts and decorations, check out the new book, Pampering Gifts: Crafting a Ministry of Treating People Well For Less.

Snowed Out

They canceled school today. We stayed home. My children took turns looking out the windows at our back gate, watching the snow drift higher and higher.

"We can't get out that way," pointed out my eldest. Then a few hours later she went out to play in the yard and discovered the wind had hollowed out an area just inside the gate. It left enough room for her to squeeze out the gate into the field. Once she squeezed out she squeezed quickly back in, as if worried she might get trapped on the wrong side.

She and her sister had fun ducking behind the mound of snow - their little hideaway. I imagine it must have been cozy; protected from the wind.

When I was a kid we had a big snowfall one year. Or maybe it was a bunch of big snowfalls. I remember my mother cut a path into our back yard and when she finished the piles of snow were above her head on either side. Along the driveway the piles were massive (to my young eyes). Suddenly the terrain in our yard in the Land of Flat held some interest. My sisters and I dug tunnels and caves and trudged paths up hills and smoothed slides down them. We led expeditions of our friends through the yard, naming the moutainous peaks, pointing out special valleys.

Every winter after that paled by comparison. If there weren't mountains of snow to explore, then it was a bore.

I pictured that winter as I watched my children trudge and duck, exploring our snowy yard. Bring on the snowstorms! Pile up the snow! I want to explore!

"Manners for Minors"

Can you believe that's what they call the class I sent my daughters to this weekend? I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe that it would be a rush job in refinement. I imagined a subtitle: "Four hours to a proper young lady". Western Suburbs meets My Fair Lady. Bring on the debutante ball!

Okay, so they're only five and seven years old. But it's never too late to start. Right? So off to class they went. I trundled them into the local living history museum early on Saturday morning, visions of them with pinkies in the air sipping tea with the docents, puffing my brain. "Imagine it's like Felicity's tea lessons," I said. "You'll learn about being proper gentlewomen." Maybe I shouldn't have. After all, it's not fair to set their expectations too high.

Their reaction when I picked them up afterwards: "borrringgg!"

Imagine that! They were bored by learning the do's and don'ts for proper behavior in modern American society, including cell phone etiquette!

Well, actually I can imagine it. Even if it did take place at eldest daughter's favorite museum (she already has plans of becoming a junior interpreter when she's in fourth grade), it was still a class on manners. And finding out that courtesy requires effort can be a jolt. Especially in the current climate of our culture where familiarity is king and "casual" is the reigning attitude. It takes discipline to consistently behave in the best fashion. My guess is that that is the reason politeness has fallen out of favor.

Now for a confession: that class was merely a pretext to getting some time to myself. You see, my husband went away for the weekend to a conference. And I'm not used to lengthy tours of duty as a mom. So I shipped the older two off to class for a few hours, gifted the uber-princess to her grandparents for the morning and headed to the local scrapbooking store where I had some blissful time alone. The girls thought the class was boring? That just shows me that I have some work to do on teaching them the value of others. They need to know the reasons behind the manners. In the meantime, I not only survived a weekend as a single parent, I actually enjoyed it! (Kudos to all you moms who live this, week in and week out, with traveling husbands. I admire your stamina.)

Lessons from an Exoskeleton

I wrote this essay a couple of years ago, but Craver's post about a spider prompted me to get it out, dust it off and share it with you.

I have three daughters. They love Barbies and princesses and dress-ups. And bugs. The kind that creep and crawl. They like seeing them up close and watching them for long periods. I, however, do not. I try to stay as far away as possible. When presented with a particularly interesting (read "gross") specimen to view in magnified glory under the bug viewer, I attempt to hide my disgust long enough (because I want to be a "good mom") to give an interested impression. Then I hurry off to brush away all those creepy-crawly sensations.

But I realized recently in my entomophobia I'm missing opportunities to teach my children. Not just about the eating habits of slugs, but about life. And death. And maybe even other things.

One backyard find was what my husband called an "exoskeleton". I called it "yucky". It was a crusty, bug-shaped shell, that, from my preferred viewing distance, actually looked like the real thing. But it wasn't. And therein was a source for so many lessons.

Like a lesson on our bodies and how, like the shell, they're only a temporary home. Or how we see something and think we know what it is until we get a little closer to really inspect it (a lesson on not judging others, perhaps?).

So maybe I shouldn't be so quick to run from their shudder-inducing insect finds. Maybe I should be beside them mining our backyard for teaching materials...Then again, I might just stick to safer indoor subjects. After all, bugs make for good Daddy/daughter bonding. Don't you think?

Terrible Towels

Back in December when I was musing about contentment I mentioned some towels I was wanting for Christmas to replace my shabby old ones. I actually got those towels from my mother-in-law. So now I have these beautiful egg-plant/blue/red patterned towels that match my kitchen very well. They're micro-fiber (the new "in" material for whatever reason) and cost much more than the run-of-the-mill kitchen towel. In every way perfect except for one: they don't dry!

Now who out there would invent (and sell) a towel that doesn't actually get things dry??? I'm serious about this. You take that towel, wipe a wet pan with it and all that happens is the water gets smeared around. Pan:still wet. Towel: still dry. Something is wrong here. So there my towels hang, draped on the oven handle. They look pretty. But they do nothing. Knowing what they cost I have a hard time throwing them away. Yet I try not to use them for fear of frustrating myself.

It makes me think of something Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount: "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." (Matthew 5:13).

If I had to draw a response to the Sermon on the Mount, I might draw a picture of my towels to remind me not to lose my purpose. Are you doing what you were created to do? Or have you lost your "saltiness" or become a towel that won't dry?

I haven't thrown out those old towels. They may be stained and full of holes, but they still get the dishes dry. And in the end, that's what counts.

Dental Diet

When I went to the dentist in December to have my teeth cleaned with a special new method they have, I had no idea what I was in for. Said cleaning came with special mouthwash ("rinse for thirty seconds, don't swallow water after. Avoid eating for several hours after rinsing or risk totally unpleasant taste."). It also required a three-month prescription for this drug (don't ask what it really does. It has something to do with improving gum tissue health). The drug instructions? Must be taken twice a day, one hour before or two hours after eating. That eliminates 6 hours of snacking daily, provided I remember to rinse before taking the medicine. Otherwise it's more like 8 hours.

Next I was in for a return visit to the dentist that resulted in a crown (my first ever - why does that make me feel so old? Shouldn't I be feeling regal instead?). So for three weeks I'm stuck with a temporary and instructions to avoid: hard raw fruits and veggies, hard rolls, tough meats - steak, ribs, Italian beef (!), bones & fruit pits (which has me really bummed - I enjoy a good crunchy bone now and then), hard chips like tortillas, popcorn, hard and chewy candies, gum, pizza, granola bars, nuts & seeds, and finally ice. All those things banned from my diet. Right before Super Bowl Sunday!

Oh, and don't chew on that side of your mouth, they tell me. The side I usually chew on because the other always hurts too much. Right. I get it though, because it actually hurts worse to chew with the temporary.

So where does that leave me? Six to eight of my waking hours with no food and the rest with soft stuff that I can only half eat (or eat only halfway. With half my mouth. You get the idea). I'd been looking for a way to shed a couple extra pounds, but I wasn't expecting it to happen this way. So if you've tried all the latest fad diets and they haven't worked, maybe you just need to pay a visit to your dentist.

Rollerskating

Believe it or not, we took our kids rollerskating this weekend. After the ice skating fiasco I was a little hesitant. But hubby was going with us this time so I felt reasonably assured we could make a decent go of it. Plus it was family night for all the kids in the Awana program my girls go to. If the rollerskating bombed at least there'd be friends to hang out with.

Guess what? We had a blast. All three girls left the rink begging us to take them again next year. It helped that it wasn't cold and when they fell they didn't get wet.

Of course timid daughter number two spent the first half hour sitting on a bench refusing to stand up. No amount of coaxing or bribery would get her on her feet. I gave up and her father took over with the gentle suggestions, appropriately timed. Finally she agreed to inch her way around on the carpeted area next to the rink. Fifteen minutes later she graduated to creeping a few feet along the rink before stepping out again. I figured that was all she'd ever do.

Cut to my three-year-old uber princess: she plunged out onto the rink almost immediately (holding my hands only at the start). Once I got her to the safety of the center of the rink she really got into things. Within a few minutes she was dancing up a storm, jumping, shaking her booty and waving her arms; generally just cracking me up. My eldest came over to watch and commented, "It's more fun watching her skate than skating myself." I agreed. And I couldn't help looking wistfully at timid daughter, wishing she'd join us.

I managed to get in a few quick loops of the rink on my own too. Not as fun for me as on ice, but enjoyable. Good exercise, I figure. I had just finished one of those loops and was going to check on timid daughter when I spotted her crossing the rink to the center, being gently guided by the uber princess who was sweetly holding her hand. What her father and I had failed to do in forty-five minutes, her little sister accomplished in two seconds. I wish I'd had my camera to capture that. Once her sister got her out onto the rink, the timid one managed to actually move around some and have fun.

I'm so glad my daughters have each other. And I'm glad I have them.

18" Doll Shoe Organizer

Here are the instructions for the fabric shoe organizer that I promised:
Supplies
5/8 yard cotton fabric (can use canvas too but is stiffer to work with) 1/8 yard medium to heavyweight fusible interfacing thread two large (1/4") eyelets/grommets

1. Cut fabric for back panel 9 1/4" wide by 25 1/2" long (these dimensions are for hanging inside the door of a doll closet).
2. Cut 4 strips for pockets 5" high by 15 3/4" wide.
3. Cut 2 pieces of interfacing 1 3/4" x 9". Fuse to top and bottom of back panel according to manufacturer's instructions.
4. Sew 1/4" hem along sides of back panel. Then hem top and bottom of panels by folding over 2" and stitching 1/4" from unfinished edge. (Hemming the back panel in this order leaves you open pockets along the top & bottom for putting a rod through. If you wish to eliminate this pocket, hem top first, then sides).
5. Hem each pocket top with 1/2" doubled hem (turn under 1/2", press. Then turn under again and stitch).
6. Hem bottom of each pocket 1/4".
7. Iron creases into pockets as follows (creating a "Z" effect):
1 1/2" from outside edges on both sides - press to front
2 1/4" from outside edges on both sides - press under (to back)
6 1/4" from outside edges on both sides - press under
7" from outside edges on both sides - press to front
8. Pin pockets to front at following spots, matching centers and folding ends over outside edge of back panels to back:
Pocket 1: 1 3/4" from top
Pocket 2: 6 3/8" from top
Pocket 3: 10 3/4" from top
Pocket 4: 15 1/4" from top
9. Stitch outside edges of all pockets to back panel 1/4" from edge of back panel (leaving z-folds of pockets free). and again 1/8" away.You can see here that the pockets are stitched on the sides but not yet on the bottoms:
10. Stitch down center between pockets
11. Stitch across bottom of each pocket 1/4" from edge, making certain pockets are folded down.
12. Apply eyelets having centers of each 7 1/4" apart and 7/8" from top of panel. Follow manufacturer's instructions for applying (this is based on placement of hooks at 7 1/4" apart. You may need to refigure placement of eyelets based on your own hook placement.
Here you can see the finished organizer hanging from the eyelets.


You can also make a French Memo board to go on the door.